10 in 2010--The Journey of a Lifetime

Staying cozy

2012-01-28T12:50:00.000-05:00

It was hard to remember what I've posted about and what I haven't. I realized, I never posted about one of the presents my kids received for Christmas that they absolutely LOVED! I was reminded of it this morning as they came downstairs all wrapped up. Could that have been b/c it was really warm yesterday and I turned off the heat & then forgot to turn it back on before bed? Yep. Hey, it's the first weekend everyone slept in. LOL. Anyhow, thought I'd share our gift.

Everyone anxiously awaiting to see what's in the big box from Uncle Chris and Aunt Mindy. Yes, I know one is not wearing a shirt. And, one has their shirt on backwards. Hey, they're all showered & that should be counted as progress.

Logan, showing off his present. Nice and snuggly. And, his very own. Quite a different concept for him than in the orphanage.

Everyone trying out the warmth of their new blankets. That's right folks, each of the ten kids got a blanket their very own.

Irina, snug as a bug. Bojan, loves his as a pillow.

Ahh, my two camera hogs.

Do you think they all liked their new presents? My brother and his wife always give such great gifts. One year we got a telescope that they still use!

More smiles. These blankets were huge! Wonderful to wrap up in.

Ooh, one more opportunity for the camera hog. LOL. Nik made sure he posed w/ everyone.

Perfect gift for some of my kids w/ temperature regulating issues. Alyona really pleased with her blanket and the color.

And, for one that is always dressed for winter, this is ideal. And how do we know who's is who's? Well, look at Alex's blanket. That's right, they had every single one monogrammed! So each kid knows which blanket belongs to them. Like I said, perfect.

Wonderful gifts that the kids use daily. Great to lay on the bed or just lounge around w/. They all brought them down this morning. It was cold in here. Didn't mean to forget to turn the heat back on. Now, it's off again and their in shorts. Got to love this crazy January weather. I know it's a belated Christmas post but can't believe I forgot to share about their blankets. Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

My girls (well, 3 of them)

2012-01-27T18:53:00.000-05:00

If you recall, Alyona simply longed for sisters. I mean really, really begged for a little sister. Just one. She wanted someone to share with, someone to play with, someone to love. See, Alyona was very lonely. She was in a special ed class and there aren't too many friends in there. At home, Irina and Yana were years above her in age and didn't really want to play like she did. Well, that all changed once the girls got home. A spark went off in Alyona. New life. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not all roses. They have their tiffs. That's true. But, for the most part, they do really well together. Adding the girls has been a huge benefit for Alyona.

Okay, ignore the rest of the mess & concentrate on the girls. Don't they just belong together? Now you understand why we fought so hard to bring them home. They truly are sisters.

Reni's eyes look great as does she. So much relief in her face. Love it.

Alyona, teasing her sister of course.

Alyona looks like such a young lady here. If anyone has questions on their adjustments, just take a look at the pictures. Doing just fine.

Just showered and ready for the world. Summer, coming down the stairs by herself! Wobbly, but does it. It's the little things that mean so much.

My happy little girl. So sweet in her new froggy pajamas. I know they're big but she loved them. Got them at Target for just $2.48. Size 4T.

Summer w/ Reni behind her trying to sneak a peak.

Our 3 youngest girls have adjusted well to each other. Lots of sisterly love. Was the right decision for sure to bring multiple children home. It's tough to do, but in the end, works out for the best. Just had to share a few pics. Next post is an update on the 3 newest. Four posts in short while, need a break to start some dinner. Have a wonderful weekend.

ooey gooey

2012-01-27T18:29:00.000-05:00

As most of you know, we have a deal with a local farming for a standing order each week for fresh fruits and veggies. Delicious! Well, we order an entire case of apples each week. Big box full. And, most of the time, they disappear w/in days. This time, we had some apples leftover but I wanted to eat them before we picked up new apples. You know kids, they'll go for the new stuff even though the old stuff is perfectly fine. So, what better way to get apples gone than to make tasty carmel apples. Nice and piping hot.

Nik and Reni getting started on the carmel apples. Nik is an old pro at this. He say the package in the pantry and begged me for days. I finally caved.

Not the best place for that tv remote on the table. right under Reni's sticky fingers.

Logan enjoying stretching the carmel.

This was the before the oven shot. We made ten apples. And, they are just as tasty as they look. Delicious. I'd have taken an after shot but the kids ate them all way too fast. I know it's not fall but apples are great any time of the year.

Puzzles, projects, & pooches

2012-01-27T16:42:00.000-05:00

Just here and there pictures I thought I'd share.

This fall, I got a bunch of items at a yard sale. One of them was a pile of games. These have different countries that you learn about. First, you put a puzzle together that tells you what country you are going to as a "secret agent" man to figure out a mystery. You learn all about that country and solve the crime. Excellent! Alex is doing this. He just finished Great Britain. Now, he chose Kenya. He's working on this now. It really is cool and uses all kinds of comprehension and that's what he needs. And, only cost me a quarter a piece. I have about 25 or more. He's excited to learn about the new countries.

Getting closer, aren't they? They get so excited to see what it ends up being.

Summer, working on her puzzles.

Not to be out done, Nik then got a puzzle to try.

Logan made this at his gizmos and gadgets class today at home school academy. Alex made one too but got frustrated b/c the strings got tangled. They all have a great time in these classes and learn cool things. The other class that Logan & Alex are taking is stop motion film making.

Alaska, just relaxing.

This baseball beanbag chair has now become Kota's favorite resting spot. No one else but Kota uses it.

I think Digby just finished eating stuff up off the floor. My kids seem to think it's Logan's and shell peanuts and then brush them on the floor. Nice, huh?

Try to do some more posts. It's the middle of winter in January and we have the windows open & my kids are in shorts. Weird. They're all playing outside now. Kids have soccer try outs next weekend. Looking forward to it. Kids had a great time today in home school academy. We are waiting for Warren to get home. Having some grilled chicken and sweet potatoes for dinner. Yum. Lots of planning we're getting done this weekend. Got to go. Think I'm going to work outside a bit while it's still gorgeous out. Love the fresh air.

Summer's OT & PT

2012-01-27T15:50:00.000-05:00

As you are aware, Summer has been dx'd w/ c-ACC. Agenesis of the corpus callosum. She is missing completely that part of her brain which connects the two hemispheres. This effects every single child differently. Kind of like how FASD effects every kid differently. I now have 7 kids w/ various brain disorders. So, getting pretty familiar w/ how things go. We will be having to get Summer checked out by a few more specialists to be sure of some things. One thing that apparently is common is eye issues such as ONH or SOD. Now, Alyona has ONH(optic nerve hypoplasia) and Nik they thought had SOD(septic optic dysplasia). So, I'm pretty familiar w/ these and not too worried that Summer has either. Even if she does, pretty much know how to handle it anyhow. No biggie. It is also recommended she see an endocrinologist. We will get these referrals in mid-Feb. when we go to see the developmental ped. For now though, we saw an OT & PT. She definitely qualifies in these areas to get help. Her balance is off which we knew as she falls frequently. Her gross motor skills are actually better than they thought they'd be. That's awesome. Fine motor, not so much. And these are all just preliminary results. Write up will come in a few weeks to us and we'll share more then. All I know is we love her to pieces and we'll help her reach her fullest potential.

I will be getting a speech eval set up if possible. I'm not sure what's going on it that area. Obviously, nothing as serious as Nik. But, you can tell she needs a little bit of speech therapy to help her a bit more. I do believe in a few months time, she'd be just fine. However, my bigger concern is she's not really speaking much in Bulgarian but a few words. The rest of what she speaks is gibberish. Older kids are saying that it is definitely not Bulgarian whatsoever. The other day, she was totally making up words. Again, not sure what's going on w/ that. Her newest word for English is thank you. Says it for everything. Everything. It's too cute. Yet, we are now tired of hearing thank you. I'll be interested to hear in Feb. what the developmental ped says in regards to Summer. I know she is behind but also am seeing her improve on certain things. We're all getting there slowly but surely. Not rushing anything. I can see it takes Summer time to process anything. She also easily shuts down. She does this w/ new people all the time. Did it for the therapists. Did it in home school classes. Did it to us in Bulgaria. So, would love to figure that piece out for sure.

Can't wait to share more about Ms. Summer. Just wanted to give a brief update on the evals thus far. It is a process with her that will extend over the next few months. Needing to see where she is, are there any physical issues, etc. Then, we go from there. She will need OT, PT, and speech. So, we'll be working with her on some basic skills. My original intentions were to teach her on a preschool level w/ the other kids when she got home. However, plans change as we all are aware. We will be working on more basic things such as balancing so we don't fall, dressing ourself correctly, potty training, holding a pencil, etc. Going at her pace is key. Can't wait to share more of her journey.

New pet

2012-01-26T22:44:00.000-05:00

We need pets like we need a hole in the head but we find it hard to say no. Our neighbors were getting rid of their guinea pig. And, it is one of the pets my kids have wanted. They take care of the 3 dogs and fish so figured guinea pig would be okay. And thus far, it has been. Dogs have calmed down...sort of. Digby doesn't care about it. Alaska wants to play w/ it and lick it. Kota, well, Kota thinks it is lunch. So, he stays out of Yana's room where it is currently being kept. Yana decided to name it Andrew. For whatever reason, I don't know. They wanted something w/ an 'A' b/c Alaska starts w/ an 'A.' So, let me introduce you to Andrew.

Andrew is pretty tame. Doesn't bit too much. Kids handle it well.

Bigger view of the new pet in the house.

As you can see by our growing animal collection here, we need a bit more space. I know w/ more land, we will have chicken coops. Eggs are a necessity around here. I have a feeling more animals would find their way to the house depending upon land restrictions. time will tell. For now, animals here have reached their limits. Can't take in any more till after we move. So, for now, trying to get house show ready. Need to go take care of Alyona. Currently, she's writing lines at the table. Yep, 10:37pm at night but here she is. URGHH!!! Bed time for her has always been a nightmare. I swear she's nocturnal. Working on it. She's driving me nuts! How could someone so sweet, turn into "Evilona" so quickly. That is the nickname we give her when she gets this way. Just one of those things. On the upside, at least she isn't like this all the time. I have not tried melatonin w/ her. Use to use it w/ Max. So, thinking maybe, just maybe, I should try it w/ her. Asking our neuro next time we're there. I know part of this is normal preteen stuff. Still, makes for a late night for parents.

Nik's makings

2012-01-26T22:09:00.000-05:00

Nik has always been very creative. Very We have tons of beads here. Pick them up whenever we hit yardsales. Girls try to make simple necklaces and bracelets. I don't know how Nik does it, but he finds way to take plain yarn and beads and create wonderful designs.

Isn't it cool?? I loved it! Color choices were so cool too. Out of yarn.

Nik was trying to design a new house for us. He's taking lessons from his big brother Max in the artistic department.

Hard to tell b/c it got all wrinkled. Max was drawing our house and then going to add to it.

I personally think both my boys are talented. Don't you?? I need to start a porfolio for Nik. We did that for Max years ago. Great looking back and seeing the progress over the years. This will be one of my summer projects... to collect all their drawings and put them in portfolios w/ labels. Ambitious but I plan to get it done. I told you all, I need a whole week A-L-O-N-E to get all the stuff done I want to get done. And organized. Yeh, that's not happening any time soon. LOL. Oh well. We'll get there. More to come. Need to fix the blog background. I don't like it. But, want something different and fresh. Play around w/ it. More to come. Need to fill out papers for new semester for Max and Bojan. Hate paper signing. PE teacher told Bojan he wasn't allowed to wear his shoes to pe b/c it will mark up the floor. Ummm, he's ONLY allowed to wear boots per doc's orders. Wrote a note. See what I get back this go around. Sometimes they're nice, sometimes they're not. Remember, this is the middle school I pulled Irina and Max from years ago. We have less than a stellar relationship.

We did manage to get Irina's mess fixed up today. She won't be able to start work for another few weeks. However, called the school today and they handled it right away. She has a great guidance teacher that gets stuff done and I appreciate that. Cleveland HS has been good about the kids, their needs & making sure if there is a problem, there is a solution. Other schools could take some lessons around this area. We have dealt personally w/ 6 different elementary schools, 1 middle school and 2 high schools. Amazing how different they all are. Got to go. Making new home school plans for the kids for February. Tweaking a schedule for the new kids. Reni and Logan are WAY behind. Reni, Alyona, Nik, & Logan can not do any regrouping addition whatsoever. So, starting there. I've been having Nik do basic math as well as Alyona these last few months. I'll have a separate post on what we're doing w/ homeschooling. Few days. More to come.

Changing look of blog

2012-01-26T11:53:00.000-05:00

No, this is not staying but I only have small increments of time to work on it during the day. So, hope to change the look this evening some time. Just thought it was high time we lose the fall leaves. Can't really do winter theme since we're all in shorts. New something fresh so working on it. Want to do a new blog but the time is limited so until that is done, we'll do this one for a few more weeks. Sorry for the painful colors that will come till I get it done. LOL. Have more pictures to post as well. Like I said yesterday though, been a busy week here. I even canceled Reni's appointment today and rescheduled for next week. Irina takes priority right now and sorting out her scheduled mess. Got to get lunch done.

Adoption Agencies We Use

2012-01-25T21:24:00.000-05:00

I thought it was high time I sing the praises of the folks who helped us get our kids home. For an agency to under take us, is not for the faint of heart. Especially, after this past set of adoptions. Phew. Now, I guess I should go back quite a few years. Our first 4 adoptions, we used Frank Adoption Center out of NC. They are under Frank Foundation who's been in business for years. Now, being that we were literally just home w/ Yana and Alex, FAC advised against us doing another immediate adoption. I understood. However, I also had this gut feeling that Bojan belonged here. Yep, went w/ the gut and found another agency to do the homestudy. See, Bojan was listed w/ Life Adoptions out of CA. We were next to the LAST family to do Serbian adoptions through a US agency before it went to independent facilitator. Anyhow, used Mandala in NC. They are now out of business. Great agency but just on a very small scale and economy went and more people went to a bigger agency anyways. We absolutely loved working with them and had them do our PPR's for many years to come on some of our kids. That brings us to our now current agencies.

Years ago, I helped do advocacy work for a group called Until All Have Homes. I found info on Alyona and well, long story short, the rest is history. I contacted the agency about her info and then received more info. After signing proper disclosure forms. BTW, newbies, you should almost always have to sign these papers before receiving info from an agency on a child. It is to protect the child. Back to the story. This agency who had Alyona's info was Kids to Adopt. I am going to write quite a bit about this agency & our current homestudy/ PPR agency since KTA is from another state than we're in. First, I guess I should write about Carolina Adoption Services.

Carolina Adoption Services(CAS) also had Bojan's records from when Mandala shut its doors so that was nice. Anyhow, we were able to get a fantastic social worker named Marybeth. To say she is understanding of Chaos Manor is an understatement. I still will never, ever forget me explaining to the kids (5 at the time) NOT to do anything stupid while she was here. Please boys not one blasted thing. Please. Pretty please. Do you know what happened? On the way of walking her out the doors, I saw the boys at the top of the hill. I wanted to scream. It's too late to stop them. There they went. Down the hill, in a giant metal gardening cart, navigating around trees and barreling straight for the cars (social woker's included!). They somehow manage to miss the cars. When they got out, I was mortified and Marybeth just laughed & remarked that that is something her and her siblings would have done when they were younger. I knew then, she could handle this crazy family. Still did not stop me from wanting to ~~scream~~ politely tell the boys I told them not to do that earlier. Oh well. She knew boys would be boys. And, they are still to this day doing stunts like that. Today, Nik taught Summer how to ride down in the mini version of the garden cart. Smaller gardening cart. Same effect...down the hill. Summer was giggling all the way. After 10 kids, you no longer worry. You just let kids be kids.

Back to the story, we were approved for Bojan and went to Serbia. CAS was doing our PPR's too. So, we adopted in 1999, 2004, 2005, 2006 and 2011. See a pattern here? 5 years between 1st & 2nd set of adoptions, 3 consecutive years, and another 5 between those and this recent set of adoptions. CAS has done our homestudies for 2005, 2006, and 2011. And, PPR's in between. They have always been understanding, prompt, kind and informative. I can not speak more highly of them. They worked very well w/ KTA. CAS looked up all the legal things we had to do when we had the CPS situation last year. They were reassuring, not accusatory, and took time to listen to everything. Simply amazing to say the least. They wrote to immigration. They asked the questions, they helped to calm my nerves when I thought our adoption would be destroyed. They were there like you would expect an agency to be. BUT, they went above and beyond the call of duty. They followed through and helped us to the very end. Checked up on us. You could not ask an agency to do more. Those local, Carolina Adoption Services for your homestudy. Those not in this state, wonderful agency to use for your adoptions as well.

Now, Kids to Adopt holds a very special place in our heart. 5 of our kids are through them. 2 from Russia & 3 from Bulgaria. When I say these people are committed to the very end of your adoption, I am NOT lying! Just like CAS, these folks go above and beyond the call of duty. For Alyona and Nik, they were helping seek out grants. With the newest three, they were there for me to call them in the middle of the night from Bulgaria. They were there w/ very, very scary dx's of our kids the few days before we were ready to leave. (yes, I will write about this at some point). They were there for us no matter what. I called them when CPS was here asking what to do next. I was terrified, shaken, and angered all at once. They were there to help talk me down, help reassure me, and most of all, to put things in perspective. They were there to offer hope. Now, KTA is no nonsense and I like that. They will tell you honestly what is happening in your situation. This is important in countries like Russia where rules change like the direction of the wind. KTA is on top of everything. In country teams are phenominal. They know their stuff. The list could go on but it would take me pages to tell you the half of what they have done for us. Besides creating a family, they have created lasting friendships w/ many of their clients. They are there for us during the AFTER part of adoption just as much as the before. Those new, this is vital in an adoption. They checked on us while in Bulgaria. Checked on us when we got home. Making sure just this past week we knew when our post placements would be. They knew what kids might be a good match for our family. They were patient w/ us. And when I say patient people, I mean super duper patient. We had more roadblocks than a freeway during construction. Crazy.

I really have the utmost admiration and respect for the staff at Kids to Adopt and at Carolina Adoption Services. I do hope they don't mind me talking about them. I just feel that if someone does such a remarkable awesome job, they should be recognized. The staff at KTA and CAS have it right. That got what it takes in adoption. They ask the right questions. They don't hesitate giving you their opinions. They are honest, helpful, and kind. The caring nature of these organizations is simply amazing. I wish I could give them the proper recognition they deserve. They deserve way more than a simple blog post. But, that's all I have. If you need an agency to facilitate your international adoption, Kids to Adopt and Carolina Adoption Services are your answer. Just wanted to say job well done. It was nothing shy of a miracle that these three children were able to come home to their forever family. It is a tale yet to fully be told. Just know, these two agencies go above and beyond. They know the laws, they know the rules and abide by them fully both internationally and locally. In other words, very trustworthy. You need that in an agency folks. People you can trust and rely on. Now that's an adoption agency! These are our adoption agencies. If we were to do this again, these would be the agencies we'd work with. Right now, Warren is biting his tongue on that last comment. LOL. Just kidding dear. Remember, when you choose an agency, know you are connected for longer than the term of the adoption. You have committed to post placement reports as well. Just wanted to share b/c I have been asked before. BTW, we found them via recommendations. That says a lot right there.

Night at the farm (part 2)

2012-01-25T18:16:00.000-05:00

Well, as you can tell, we've been a bit busy around here. But, need to finish a few posts up. So, this is the second part of our trip to the farm. Click the link if you locals would like to see it. As you know, it poured down rain when we went this time to the farm. So, we did everything inside.

Irina and Alyona w/ one of the baby rabbits.

This baby rabbit blends right into baby girls' jacket. Summer was very gentle with them. Though, she really didn't want to give up the rabbits.

Bojan w/ one of the guinea pigs. Guess they can't get enough of our guinea pig at home.

Alex with Great Dane Wanda. Dogs are very good for Alex.

This young man and Alyona are just a few months apart in age.

Ahh, a drum set. Alex and Logan both declared they are playing the drums when they get to 6th grade. Umm, no. I don't think so. Maybe in the new house. LOL.

Irina with one very big guinea pig.

Pig in the barn w/ the piglets.

A rock climbing wall in the house. My kids love this thing. Bojan, Nik, Max and Yana just hanging out up there.

Logan with one of the rabbits. I think they had something like 26 rabbits. not sure how many but they kept coming.

A very tired Summer not wanting to let go of her bunny. Crazy, huh? We all had a wonderful time as usual. Can't wait to go back on the 4th w/ the bonfire. That's the rain date. We always meet such great folks there.

Much going on here at Chaos Manor. New semester started for the teens today and 2 schedules that had to be changed. Irina ended up sitting in the office for hours. So, tomorrow, I'm picking her up instead of her sitting there all afternoon long. Voc. Rehab didn't pick her up. I'm guessing it's not quite all sorted out yet but no reason she should sit there for hours w/ her own thoughts. Trust me, not a good idea. Irina will come home w/ me tomorrow and go w/ me to the plastic surgeon appt. for Reni. Today was Summer's OT and PT evals. Did great. Definitely qualifies. We knew that. Not a surprise. Tons of other things happening but really have been busy. Helping work on planning a family reunion tomorrow morning. Yeh, we're behind. So many things that must be done lately. Really need like two days off to play catch up. I am getting caught up on emails though. Quite proud I actually accomplished something. LOL. More to come on happenings around here.

Night at the farm (part 1)

2012-01-23T23:34:00.000-05:00

We have a dear friend of ours that owns a small farm. We met b/c we both hosted children years ago that we ended up adopting. So yes, my kids know her kids from even when they were little! Anyhow, my kids absolutely LOVE going to the farm. Tons of animals and they have free range to interact w/ all of them. What a wonderful experience for them. So, thought I'd do some pictures. It was supposed to be a big bonfire and party. That has been rescheduled. You'll see why.

The bonfire parties, we all bring something to share. I feel w/ our family we best bring more just given the amount our kids will eat. So, we made cupcakes, a cake, hot dogs, 2 bottles of soda and a veggie tray. Irina helped me make the cakes and cupcakes.

What would a trip somewhere w/out a little drama be like for our family? We may never know. Right before we were supposed to leave, Alyona slammed Summer's finger in the door. Hard to get your older daughter to understand her new sister is more like a 2yo when she herself is more like a 4yo mentally. We're getting there though. Of course Summer had to injure her middle finger. So, the rest of the night she was showing everyone her finger. Lovely.

Nik, trying to decide if he was going to have a taste.

Almost ashamed to take a picture of it. I can actually decorate cakes. When I have more than 5 minutes to ice one. LOL. So, went the easy route this time...icing and sprinkles.

Already asleep and we haven't even gotten there yet.

At this point, my kids realized this farm trip would be indoors. They were starting to feel bummed about it yet excited to see their friends.

Got there and plenty of animals inside to see! Here, Alyona is checking out a squirrel that was dropped off for them to nurse back to health.

Bojan, petting Wanda. The sweetest Great Dane.

Much more to see and to come. However, I need to rest my leg some more b/c I am taking the kids to a museum tomorrow morning. Animal show and all going on. All free. Bonus. Taking one of Max's friends w/ us as well. Full van for sure. Get to go w/ a friend of mine so happy about that. After that, we'll come home and get some more housework done. School starts tomorrow again for the older kids. Max and Irina will have new schedules versus the current ones. Took care of a few things. More happening around here. Just trying to find the time to catch up w/ it all. Would love to share how far the new ones have come. And, how the old ones have adjusted to life w/ new sibs. I think that is important for folks to know. Have a great day and be back tomorrow. Hope to have some good museum pics. Though I'll most likely let the teens explore on their own. Many, many more pics to come.

Addressing a comment

2012-01-23T22:18:00.000-05:00

Someone recently posted about the dogs possibly being out of control. This was from them running into me. They weren't out of control. They were just playing. They turn around to chase each other and ran right into me. The same thing happened last year outside w/ my neighbor's dog. She was innocently running around the yard and took me out too. Same knee. Trouble is, this knee is a "bad" knee w/ issues. I do not go for the steroid shots like I should. They'll tend to be less effective the more you use them from what I hear. So, trying to spread it out. Anyhow, the dogs really were just playing around.

Now, when the kids were keeping them off me, it is because of the sounds I was making. Screaming in pain isn't normal around here. LOL. But, they would have thought I was playing b/c the boys lay on the floor and cover themselves w/ blankets and have the dogs find them. They're laughing the whole time, drives the dogs bonkers and then they all run around the house. With me on the floor, they would have thought I was playing like the boys.

This is what the kids usually do w/ the dogs. Starting to play tug of war. With my blanket no less. The dog has tug of war toys I remind them.

As you can see, no one else is moving. Just Alex and Logan are playing w/ Kota this time. It's just playing around. Hence, no one moving.

This is what it ends up with...Alex, Logan and Nik on a pile on the couch laughing themselves to death. After this, Kota & Alaska jump up and lick them like crazy. They just all play around is all. The dogs and the kids.

Today, they were just going to think I was playing. Kids kept the dogs off me b/c they knew I was hurt, they saw me fall. Dogs just thought I was playing like the kids were. Nothing mean, no biting, none of that stuff. But, they saw me curled up on the floor like the boys do when they're playing w/ them and well, they think I want to play. Just thought I'd address the comment in case anyone else was wondering or thought they were being mean. They were definitely not. They were just playing. Same as the neighbor's dog next door last year. Plowed right into my same knee too. Total accident w/ her last year and w/ our dogs this year. BTW, when I was laying on the couch w/ leg propped up, Kota came over and kept licking my leg. He knew I was hurt and trying to make it better. Alaska, still wanted to play. Still has the puppy in her. Hope that answered things a little better. We would never keep a dog here that was unsafe. There are too many kids here and other people. The pictures taken above were from this past Friday when we had guests over.

Manic Monday

2012-01-23T13:37:00.000-05:00

It was a bit of a long weekend. This may be a short post. I'm in quite a bit of pain right now. Alaska and Kota decided to plow right into my knee this morning. I was standing in the living room and knocked down. Screaming in agony, kids helped picked me up to the couch. I still can't bear weight that much but know it's not broken or anything of that nature. Iced it and propped it up. Will wrap it up in a bit when more of the swelling goes down. One good thing about being in sports med and fitness in college is you know how to take care of an injury...even if it's your own. Kids went right to work trying to keep the dogs off me when it first happened. See, dogs didn't know what was wrong and were trying to help or thought I was playing. Usually I can curtail the amount of pain I'm in when I'm hurt. Umm, not this time. It is still really, really painful. It happens. The only issue here is one of my kids has severe PTSD. He gets just plain distraught when someone in the family is hurt. He's fine now. And, I was good enough to hop up here on one leg. Can't sit still knowing stuff needs to be done. Hey, if it's not broken, need to get things done. Kids cleaned the house and have friends over now.

This week, kids have off today and tomorrow. We have speech therapy all week. We have OT and PT evals for Summer. We have a plastic surgeon appointment for Reni. Have an IEP meeting for Max. Called Voc. Rehab to give them the go ahead for Irina. Rest of the week, making appointments and doing home school. We are going to a museum tomorrow. Okay, so that's the plan. I think I should be able. I'll wrap my knee up to be on the safe side. Plus, going w/ another family so if something happens, I have a back up. LOL. Rest of the week, organizing tax docs and such and making appt. w/ accountant. Tons of people to call. House is slowly getting cleaned up. Slowly. It's cleaned every week but we're working on that deep cleaning stuff in order to sell. YOu know, the stuff you tend to forget on a weekly basis.

Had an awesome time this past weekend w/ friends. I'll have a post and pictures about it later. Right now, in too much pain to sit for long w/out propping up the leg. Just wanted to say still here. Nothing too, too exciting. More on our weekend for sure. Making plans for summer time. Deaf camp happens every May. There was a fantastic groupon deal for a place not too far from us that I',m still contemplating about going to. There is the Bulgarian Reunion we must plan for in June. Way behind on my planning that trip. Also, my cousin and I are in charge of planning this year's family reunion which will most likely be in July or August some time. And, too many waiting kids to advocate for. My goal this year is to get super duper organized. I'm getting there. I want to give adequate time to many things that are dear to my heart. Orphans waiting for families being one of them. But first, must take care of my family. Not just the schooling but February should be filled w/ many medical answers about certain kids. Whether or not Bojan & Alyona will get surgery. Whether or not Reni will get surgery. Also, Irina. Finding all the specialists Summer will need to see. In other words, lots to do. Still, no excuse not to focus on other aspects of life too.

January, we don't have extracurricular things happening. That is a great little break. Soccer try outs are Feb. 4th. Track for Yana will be happening soon after that too. So, I know we will be entering spring and after school activities and things of that nature. Anyhow, just thought I'd give a manic Monday type happening post and post about our weekend later.

Pictures from Bulgaria-- (monument)

2012-01-21T00:30:00.000-05:00

We went to a monument on top of the city. Thankfully, we drove there first this go around. Walked a ways to get there but not a bad walk at all. This was our last day together. Bitter sweet when you know it will soon be over. Just felt like we should have taken them home right then and there. Oh, how I wish. I wish the government officials who do adoptions understood how hard it is to wait so, so long between trips. Older kids have the added burden of wondering if you are indeed coming back. Trust me, they express it. Yana expressed it clearly in Russia when we went to get her..."what took you so long!" Those were her words. Hard on a parent. Hard on the kids. I know paperwork is vital to insure the safety of the kids but boy, a short time between trips would be a welcomed change in all the countries. But, it is what it is for now. So, we go, knowing we'll soon have to part ways for months more. For now, enjoyment though with our kids.

Did I not tell you clear blue skies? The weather was simply delightful the entire trip. Not a drop of rain. Loved it. Warren w/ Logan and Reni.

Mom with Reni and Logan. The massiveness of the monument was unreal.

Reni. Wonder what she was thinking here.

Soon, they would be orphans no more. They were already part of our family in our hearts. We got to see a wonderful side of our two kids.

No, they aren't that tall. We were a step below them.

This is called more lighting. LOL. Warren looks like he's missing some of his skull. Such a beautiful view and great company to boot.

Reni, overlooking her city of birth...Shumen. I want her to look back one day and be proud of who she is and where she came from. Knowing your child's birth culture, I feel is important.

Logan and Reni.

Logan, overlooking the city. Reni, telling us we can go down the stairs. Indeed, the stairs do lead all the way down and not far from the orphanage. Umm, no kids, we did the hike yesterday. Today, we're taking the car.

Just having a good time being tourists with our kids.

After the monument, time for lunch at an outdoor cafe. This was in the same park we had gone to previously.

It was hard not to want to cry. These were going to be our last moments together for quite a few months. Hard not to be emotional when you know what's coming...a goodbye. First though, we all ate lunch and chatted a bit more.

Our son to be. I still can not compliment the orphanage and their staff enough for allowing us to bond in this type of environment. Makes a big difference I feel. Even got to introduce our kids to ice in drinks. They really like ice. LOL. Such a pleasant trip and time together. I was dying to share these pictures after the first trip. I knew I couldn't but still wanted to. I love them dearly. I have a few more pics I think. For now, bed time. Tomorrow, time for relaxation and fun. Been a very hard and long week. Warren was sick and many other things transpired w/ the kids in high school. Let's just say IEP next week and leave it at that. Have a wonderful weekend everyone. Now you know why we fell in love with Bulgaria, the people and most importantly...the kids!

Pictures from Bulgaria-- (poprocks and park)

2012-01-21T00:06:00.000-05:00

So much happening around here but thought I'd finish up the picture posts first before talking a bit more. It will be wondrous to be at the farm tomorrow and enjoy a great time with friends. Bonfire, food, and friends. What more could we want? So, tomorrow, a post with what all we've been having to think about lately to how everyone is to what we'll be doing tomorrow. For now, time to finish up showing off why we fell in love w/ our kids on the first trip. Summer's orphanage did not really allow photos so we don't have hardly any of her. Reni & Logan's orphanage, well we got to take a ton of pictures and so relaxed we REALLY got to know the kids under no pressure. I loved that fact. Anyhow, enough talk.

Every since Max's first experience w/ Pop Rocks, we always give our new kids these popping candy. Reni, wondering just what this is.

Logan, getting ready to be daring. We were at a park in the city. It was beautiful there and very well maintained.

Reni not quite so sure about the noise in her mouth.

Hmm, this stuff isn't so bad. Good enough to lick it off my hands.

Childhood delight, just discovered.

Logan, listening to the sound of the candy. BTW, we had a pile of kid onlookers. Wish I had more candy.

I seriously fell in love with this sweet little girl. She is a friend of Logan and Reni. For those curious, we asked if she could be adopted. The answer is no. For those new to adoption, if family visits the child in the orphanage, they can not be adopted. That is her case. Reni has already asked since we've been home if Maggie is coming here too. I explained her parents come to visit her and she said yes, yes. Then Reni proceeded to give me her unfavorable approval of that situation. Yes, my daughter is opinionated. This child has a heart of gold. Just a very sweet soul.

What can be going through Warren's head right now?? No, not more! LOL. When had originally gone to the park w/ our kids. These other children came and we all hung out together. All were friends of my kids.

These were such sweet, sweet girls. I really had a heart for these two. Just could have scooped them up w/ Reni and Logan. They were such great girls and so much fun to interact with. I do miss them as I know my kids do as well. didn't I tell you we had wonderful weather the entire trip?

Goofing around. Aren't Bulgarian kids just beautiful?

Always remember when you adopt children from an older kids' home, you are also tearing apart a "family." These children were VERY close and you could tell. I loved that and enjoyed seeing it. Watching them together. Though you are giving a wonderful family to your kids, please remember the ones left behind. Send them care packages. Oh, more on that too in another post.

Had we been allowed....

Just awesome, awesome personalities. I can not express gratitude enough for the orphanage staff for allowing us all to play and have fun together at the park. It was a great experience for all of us. When you see your children to be interact with their friends, it gives you a little more insight to who they are. We had an opportunity that most do not. We were not stuck in a tiny little playroom trying to bond. This was real life, this was great to see the love, the teasing, the closeness, and much more in all of them. It made me realize these children came from a wonderful place and really were taught well. All had awesome manners. All were polite. All were kind. All were fun-loving. All would do well in a family. Just had to share who their friends were. Like I said, they just happen to come to the park. They didn't know we would be there b/c we just finished that monstrous mountain hike. LOL.

More to come. Love seeing all this. Brings back great memories.

Pictures from Bulgaria -- 1st trip

2012-01-19T22:15:00.000-05:00

As some are aware, we legally couldn't post pictures of our kids until the adoption was final. But, we took a bunch on our first trip and I must share I feel. It was first meeting Logan and Reni. See, Summer's orphanage was extremely hesitant on pictures. Meaning, we couldn't take any. But Logan & Reni's orphanage does many foreign adoptions (though mostly Italy I'm told) and they didn't mind picture taking at all. Even put an album together of our time there for Logan and Reni to keep between trips! It was awesome. So, anyhow, thought I'd share a few of what it was like w/ the kids. I know first trip pics from here I share but only ones w/ no kids in it. And let's face it, that's no fun! LOL. So, here we go.

Reni asking Warren over and over again to throw her up in the air.

Yes, my two little "Bulgarian souvenirs." LOL.

I know it's blurry but I just thought it was cute of Reni. She had SO much trouble climbing up the stairs. Poor kid couldn't see whatsoever. Now, she could run up those steps!

Reni and Daddy in front of the caves. This was before the hike we knew was to come. Geez.

Mom, Reni and Daddy.

Yes, my native Bulgarian kids can indeed become stupid American tourists in a heartbeat. LOL. Funny face lollipops...a classic. Hey, they were lucky. At least they had something wet. We'd have bought water had we known we were actually climbing an entire mountain!

Logan and Reni walking ahead.

Ahh, if only we knew what was to come on trip two with this young man. Wait, glad we didn't know. Here's to quick turn arounds once home.

Reni always wanted to be holding either my hand or Warren's. Just a sweetheart for sure.

Logan, chilling out on the remainder of an old fort. Who builds a fort at a top of a mountain anyhow? LOL. Beautiful day to go for a hike though.

Logan, overlooking the city of Shumen.

You have no idea what an accomplishment this was. For those that don't know, petrified doesn't even begin to describe my feelings on heights. That would be an understatement. So to climb to the top of the mountain overlooking the entire city was huge. Especially, w/ a daughter that couldn't see the steps in front of her. We all sat here knowing we'd have to trek back down.

After the long hike, we went to an outdoor cafe. It was beautiful w/ a cool breeze. This was taken shortly after I asked what happened to Reni. Just thought it captured her beauty. Messy hair and all. She's just so sweet and has such an innocence about her.

Many more pics to catch up on. Also, other happenings. But, tomorrow is homeschool academy classes and well, let's just say Warren has a trip to the DMV tomorrow morning. License renewal. I think my two oldest girls have decided they will permanently be at war. Been a long day. Oh, did I tell you we now have a guinea pig. Kota has resided himself to be the permanent guinea pig guard dog. With barking. Well, need to go.

Vocational Rehab

2012-01-19T20:24:00.000-05:00

This is new terminology for me. We're learning. As you know, we have a teenage daughter that will be entering the work force. She is on the occupational track at her school. And though I must admit skeptical at first, I'm now coming around to the idea. We had our first meeting today. The gentleman was very nice, very honest on what to expect. At one point, I had Irina go get me a drink of water so that he and I could discuss further items. He was very informative and I appreciated that. Irina will be starting to work as early as next week through this program. It would be a paid position. Once that semester is over, she may continue through the summer. Next year though, she would serve in the community which I have mixed feelings about. My feeling is, if you're going to work, developmentally disabled or not, they should PAY you. They don't in the community part b/c they claim it is more of an "apprenticeship." I personally think that is wrong. I have been on the other end of this. When I was a manager, I worked directly w/ the social services and I hired disabled adults. And you know what?? We PAID them like every other employee!!! Apparently, this is all legal. I don't know if I'll be able to keep my mouth shut when she does the so called "community" part. I just think it is taking advantage of free labor. Okay, now that I'm positive I ruffled feathers, I'll move on.

I like this part next week where she will indeed be paid. I think it shows her hard work will pay off. They will guide her, teach her, observe her in a work environment, etc. I think it is a great fit. She is looking forward to it but also a little hesitant which I think is normal. I really can't wait to hear about Irina's first day of work. This will be during school hours so we have to switch the schedule around. Cleveland was awesome and did it for us right after the meeting! They were willing to do what they could to help Irina. She does have some awesome teachers and they seem to want to go above and beyond for the kids. I appreciate that. It's like night and day from her previous high school. Just pleasant to go to a meeting and not have to be angry before you even enter the building. It's more relaxed here and much more cooperative to do what is in the best interest of the child.

I will keep you posted how it all progresses. Would love to hear from others who've done the community work w/ their kids for no pay. What are your thoughts? Am I reading too much into it? This is new territory for us and maybe this is how it's done. However, I know when I was a teen and did work, it was for pay. Unless it was a volunteer....something I wanted to do. Not something I had to do. Big difference I feel. Again, my opinions. I would love feedback on this topic though as this is our first older child going through this experience. Thanks in advance. I just can't wait to see how Irina likes her job the first week. Much more to come. Have another picture post but still contemplating posting it. We'll see. Well, need to go. Summer and Nik have decided gymnastics is in order for the living room.

The house

2012-01-18T16:50:00.000-05:00

It is no secret we've been contemplating moving on and off for quite some time. Well, it has come with great revelation that we must move. There is no maybe any more. We must. Multiple, multiple reasons. IF moving, we want to do this one time and build a home that we will live the rest of our lives in. One that will help us with some children that may never leave home yet want that independence. A home with land that we can do a bit more vegetable gardening and such. A place where the kids can run wild so to speak. Currently, we only have an acre. Clearly, not enough land. Enough for many folks but we really do need more land. We also have issues with living arrangements right now. Don't get me wrong , there is plenty space for everyone. However, all five boys are in one room is a recipe for disaster. Mind you, it's a bonus room so space is fine. But, it has reached critical mass w/ the 5 that are in there now. Max and Bojan are older and need their own space. Clearly evident the last few weeks. And, those were originally hte intentions...put Max and Bojan in the garage. Convert it first but in the garage area. But, we have decided to officially move. This decision does NOT come lightly for we LOVE our neighborhood and neighbors. LOVE the convenience of everything. Great church community as well. LOVE the house. This is something though that we must do. This will NOT be an easy task. Not only is it extremely hard to sell in this market, we must take a loss in order to sell. But more than that, this will be beyond difficult on the majority of our children that have issues w/ change. Last move we made, one child did not adjust to this home for over six months. I know what will happen. I do and we're prepared for the fall out of the move with our kids who need help w/ transitions. This is a case though where the end justifies the means.

Meantime, we are trying to forge forward by fixing up the house. Most are cosmetic issues. 12 people, 3 dogs, lots of dirt, a few dozen fish, guinea pig(as of today...DO NOT ASK....URGHHH!), & just wear and tear make for a little fixin' up to take place. We have started a punch list this past weekend.

Us, we really could careless what our mailbox looks like. But, out with the dented one the kids have hit w/ bikes and such and on w/ a new one. Warren and Max are leveling up the post while they're at it & putting new pavers down since old wood ones rotted. It's the little things you don't pay attention to when you have kids.

Okay, so embarrassed really at the size dust bunny we found behind the fridge. Just one of those things you don't think to vacuum behind. Bojan did a great job.

Summer wanted to help put the bikes away. I told her to put her bike away. This is what she grabbed. We also filled in all the holes the dogs made w/ dirt. Puppies can reek havoc on a yard.

Even putting some "brightening" touches around the house. Life. I told Bojan I need so have some life in every room. And try not to kill either the plants or the fish boys. Bojan's response "but it's SO fun to kill things." Nice one kid. URGHH!!! And this would be why I shutter at the thought of selling this house. My boys can reek havoc on a situation with in minutes. No, seconds. Seriously. A hole in the wall fixed today will be there tomorrow. Geez.

Trying to brighten things up around the house, make it super clean, change out towels that look like the dogs shredded them, get a few new items that make it look a bit more "staged." And so on. Takes time to do it here in this house. But, it is getting done is the thing. We are fixing things up. Best news I heard is we may receive help on fixing up the house from possibly two local churches. See, if we can't sell for whatever reason, we MUST convert the garage to Max and Bojan's bedroom. Otherwise, afraid they may use those chains for their younger brothers. LOL. Lots and lots of work going on here at Chaos Manor. It is bittersweet. We love our house. Max is helping to design the new house. We have a general idea. We have a general idea of land and where we want it. We must stay w/in an hour's commuting distance of Warren's work. Not too hard to do. Closer you are here to the capital, more expensive it is to live. That's a no brainer. It's that way in every state. Okay, more to come later. Stupid dogs have discovered the guinea pig. Got to go!

Crocheting and chains

2012-01-16T16:51:00.001-05:00

As some of you may remember, my homeschoolers are taking classes on Fridays at a local homeschool academy. It's awesome! Anyhow, Alyona is taking crocheting. However, Nik has been observing her intently. Then, he decided to teach himself!

Look at Nik just concentrating on that.

He was very proud to show me what he'd been working on.

Such focus on the task at hand. Crocheting is repetitive so wonderful for kids w/ things like ADHD or FAS or both. Nik told me I need to get more yarn.

He truly has been crocheting away and just enjoying himself. He wants to take the class now but he's in bugs and loves bugs. I told him next time. I asked who taught him and he told me in sign he used his brain to think.

Why? Not sure. Bojan said he wanted to be like Jacob Marley on A Christmas Carol. I think he played the part just fine.

Why on earth he'd chain himself up, no idea. They were to clean up the garage area outside. This is what they did.

Monkey see, monkey do. I keep reminding them the new kids are watching and learning by their examples. This is not helping my case any. LOL.

Manic Monday

2012-01-16T16:15:00.000-05:00

Well, it's Monday. And, does it ever feel like a Monday. It's my birthday. No biggie. Not going anywhere, not doing anything special. With many upcoming medical appointments, purchases needed, vehicles needing fixing, & selling the house, b-day presents are out for Warren and I. Again, when you get older, you're not really much into birthdays. This is supposed to be a "big" milestone. I don't see it as that. I'm just excited that I'm here another day & my children haven't made me crazy yet. LOL.

Warren is home sick. Had a fever last night but think it broke this morning. Poor guy. Kids and their friends are playing outside. they were cleaning earlier. We have a punch list we're getting done this week in order to get the house ready. Have a huge pile of trash now that needs to be hauled off but we'll get there.

We have an FAS Support group meeting this week, I have a focus group, have home school this week of course, speech therapist comes, meeting w/ vocational rehab to discuss Irina, vet comes and a big bonfire at the end of the week at the farm. Those are the highlights so to speak. Now, other things we must get done are monumental it seems. As some of you are aware, we keep a tight "leash" on our FASers in regards to technology. None have cell phones. One has an ipod. Just this Christmas, did my kids get tablets. Now, I know all their friends have them. I could careless. I've seen personally what some of their friends have done w/ such technology...not good.

Well, the other day, XXXX was at a friend's house. On the computer. Apparently, she "won." You know the scam sites, right? this is the exact reason we have never let our kids use their SS#'s or let them memorize them. Though she didn't use the SS#, she knew her phone # and address and apparently, that is enough nowadays. We have a HUGE credit fiasco w/ her. We will be freezing all our kids credit accounts as a precaution. However, 2 people we've spoken w/ thus far & explained she is under our guardianship & our daughter & NOT allowed to do things on her own behalf, they were gracious and took names & one guy even purge her from their systems. Other people, no. It is beyond frustrating. I am telling you all this not b/c I want to but to warn others. We have all sorts of precautions on OUR computer. We have all sorts of rules at OUR house. This does not mean it can not happen elsewhere! Even at the schools. Last year, it was appalling what her classmates were looking up. We assumed the school had protections in place. Nope. FASers are older yet are mentally about half their age, especially, socially. There are rude awakenings when they get older. I am telling you all this as we have children much older than most out here just now adopting. We keep on top of everything. Hence, why I can't seem to write back as fast as I'd like to some of you. Sorry. Usually, putting out fires at home. Sometimes, literally.

Anyhow, this is a serious issue. I know we may seem strict to most "normal" parents. As you can clearly see, there is a reason for that. We are going to the bank tomorrow. We are making sure no major damage has been done to us. Remember, we'll be selling this house & ~~buying~~ building a new one. This has also made it clear to us that we must do something we have not wanted to do for a long time. And, that is legally take guardianship of our childrens' affairs when they reach legal age...18. As much as we want them to be independent, some times, it just is not possible. This has been shown to us not only here but in 2 other episodes this weekend w/ two other of my kids. Maturity is not there. Clearly. I urge all you parents of FASers to take steps now to help the kids later. You may have to make difficult decisions. So be it. It's okay. They will be better off for it in the long run. I realize now, I should have had them all on SSI from the get go. I will write a separate post on things I wished I'd done w/ my FASers early on. We learn as we go sometimes. I have 6 kids w/ varying forms of this disorder and now another child w/ a disorder that shows symptoms almost identical to FAS it seems. Joy, joy. So, 7 kids that will need help throughout life in big decision making things. We'll be there for it, no doubt. I just want all of you to be aware, some of those decisions need to come earlier than young adulthood.

So many things spinning through my mind. So many. Hope we can get it all done. February is filled w/ tons of medical appointments. Summer will be needing to see a myrid of specialists. She's seen the regular ped and the neuro. Next, is an OT and PT eval. Then, a developmental ped at neuro. She also needs a ped-neuro ophthalmologist. Possibly a cardiologist. Oh, and endocrinologist. Hey, we'll get there. These kids are puzzles when you get home and you just need to figure them out. With her recent dx, these specialists need to be seen. Well, back to our punch list. I know this wasn't the most impressive post, but some things really did need to be said. I know others read this who have younger FASersFAS is part of who they are...for life. It does not go away and key is to learn how to learn to live with it, not against it. More to come. I may have to go buy birthday cake mix. Irina wants to make me a cake but out of cake mix. Enjoy your day everyone.

Togetherness

2012-01-15T18:54:00.000-05:00

Many wonder if adopting out of birth order is a good idea or not. It's not for everyone, I'm sure. Some prefer to keep the birth order the same. I can tell you from our experience, it really hasn't made a difference when the new kids enter the family or how old they are. We typically will know ahead of time if it will be a good match. Irina and Max were first. Nothing needed there. For Yana and Alex, we hosted them a week first so we knew for sure they'd fit in. For Bojan, just had a strong gut feeling. With Alyona and Nik, after that first trip, I knew they'd work right in w/ this family. These past three, when we saw the videos, we just knew they were perfect for this family. Are they always getting along? No way! they fight like every other sibling on this planet would. But, they also love being together at times. Thought I'd share a few brief together moments.

Yep, true siblings teasing each other. These are my two 12 yo's. Well, Bojan is now 13yo. Alyona is oblivious to what's going on.

Logan, Nik and Reni. I know, he has no shirt on. No shoes either. We'd be in trouble if we ever lived up north. My kids would never survive it. they are happiest in shorts and flip flops.

Sisters true and true. This honestly is exactly what Alyona needed. More than most of you realize. FAS can be a very lonely thing. Having sisters who love you definitely helps. When someone was discouraging during our adoption process, I'd always think of how much Alyona would love having sisters around. I'm pretty sure this says it all. It really is love for her. And the love, goes both ways. If those of you are struggling w/ your decision or with what some may be saying to you, try to focus on the end result....a family full of love. Adoption has tons of roadblocks. However, in the end, every single one was there for a reason.

Reni and Nik. My two 9 yo's. Yeh, my kids like pajamas.

The goof balls goofing around. Nik, well, he just wants in the shot. He and Summer are our ultimate camera hogs. Doesn't matter who I am going to take a picture of or the occassion, they want in on it. Burns me up sometimes. Try taking a birthday picture of someone blowing out the candles & Nik literally jumping in front of the birthday person for the shot. The kid is going to end up on tv somehow, some way. I'm sure of it.

Those were just a few off hand pictures I had of some of the sibs together. Some times they fight but for the most part, they do fairly well together.

I thought I'd never

2012-01-15T13:31:00.000-05:00

I thought I'd never be that mom. Nope, I had other plans. What do I mean? When you get older and start preparing to have a family, you tend to look at the world around you and how you envision your family and what you would be like raising that family. There were many things I used to say. Some, have come back to bite me in the backside if you know what I mean. LOL. A few examples:

I never would be the mom who screamed out the front door for her kids to come in after they'd been playing all afternoon. No, I would be more refined than that.

I never would have a big family. No, that's too much work.

I never would have a messy house. It's just too easy to pick stuff up.

I never would have a trashy looking yard w/ bicycles spread all over the place. I would always tend to my house and it would be the show home of the neighborhood.

I never would be the mom who fed her kids donuts or cake (or both!) for breakfast ever. I would always provide nutrition all the time.

I never would be the mom who let herself go to take care of her kids instead. How can anyone do that?

I never would be the mom to step in her boys' room all over their clothes in order to wake them up. No, my boys would always pick up their stuff b/c I would have authority.

I never would send my kids to school with unmatched clothes. Nope, not me. I would for sure send my kids to school well dressed b/c it reflected who I was.

I never would be the mom to tell off a school official on behalf of her kids b/c that would be just beastly.

I never would have children w/ disabilities as that would be all consuming.

I never would be the mom that cut coupons. I would have plenty of money.

I never would be the mom that makes her own stuff such as chocolate syrup, pancakes, dog treats, window cleaner, etc. as it is just easy to buy it off the shelf.

I never would be the mom that watches her kids like a hawk when they are on the computer. I would be able to trust them w/out worry.

I never would be the mom that let their kids run outside in just a diaper in the summer. Geez, what rednecks. No way would I ever do such a thing.

I never would be the mom that had one of those vans. Nope. I'd have a cool car.

I never would have juice stains in my car. My car would be immaculate.

I never would be the mom that had to punish her kids ever as mine would be so well-behaved and obey. (yeh, I'm laughing at this one too.)

I never would call my husband to pick something up for dinner on the way home as I was too tired to cook. I would have dinner prepared every evening.

I never would allow my kids to hug & kiss me in public. No, that is for home.

I never would be the mom to get excited & proud over every kid's accomplishments. For there would be plenty in life, why get excited over every one?

I never would be the mom that would dream of having her grand kids come to visit her in the future. No, I would be traveling instead or living my life. ( and I know grand kids are a L-O-N-G time away in this home!)

I never would be the mom that would have their kid crawl into bed w/ them every single weekend just to cuddle. I would be able to sleep in.

I never would be the mom to hang up pictures on the fridge as that is just stupid.

Nope, I'd never do any of these things when I became a mom. As you may have guessed by now, that did NOT happen. I never became that mom. I instead am who I am. I love it when Nik crawls in bed on the weekends w/ us every Saturday morning. I love it that there are stains in the van. Means we care about the adventure more than the material thing such as a car. Love it when Summer kisses me all the time. Even love it when I have to scream at the kids when they've been playing all day long outside. Love it that I can dream of grand kids coming to visit us. Love it when my kids run outside in their diaper in the middle of summer. Remember, it is 100 & humid out here in the summer time. I love the little things. I love that I became a mom who could care less what brand of clothing her kid has or what her house looks like. I love it when we bask in the joy of their accomplishments. I love it when we get to go places with everyone together. Love being able to travel w/ all of them. In our not so clean van. Well, clean but not immaculate by any means. I love it that we have chosen to put our kids' needs first above needs of the house or cars. So many things I thought I'd care about, I just don't any more. You learn what is important in life when you become a mom. No real point to this post. Just wanted to say it. Anything that you all thought before you became a mom. Don't be afraid. I said some dumb things before this.

Digby update

2012-01-14T21:04:00.000-05:00

This will be quick. We did not end up taking Digby to the emergency clinic. We spoke w/ our vet. She was actually able to hear him over the phone. Yes, he was that loud. Yesterday was just awful. Our vet is awesome though. We LOVE Dr. Marty. There is actually a doggie flu going around. Does he have it? We don't know. At first, we were worried about something being stuck in his throat. Well, he can swallow just fine. He is eating just fine too and not throwing up and more today. Still coughing and hacking but nothing is coming up and no sign of blood. He's not shaking, and his breathing is not labored at all. Today, his coughing episodes have lessened a lot. Our only concern now is not drinking enough water. We gave him some chilli pops to help w/ that and he ate those right up. Of course, w/ all that coughing, I'm sure it's hard for him to swallow. The pups have shown their concern and at first Kota didn't know what to think. He started coughing and Kota stuck his tail between his legs scared. They're okay now. Kids are treating Digby w/ lots of respect. That's good. Empathy. Only kid I'm really MAD at right now is Nik and his reaction of laughing at Digby. Really ticked off at him. He knows better, was taught better. And boy, did the other kids jump on his case for laughing at Digby. I'm pretty sure Nik got that message loud and clear. Sign or no sign. Message was crystal clear.

All in all, hoping digby is turning a corner. Was scary. Dogs really do become part of the family. Thanks for all the advice and concern for our Digby. Though we have no idea how many years we have with him, we want him here as long as possible. Digby came to us as a rescue and no idea how old he is. Just know we love him and when he's sick, we're all just a bit concerned for him. Love our Digby.

Need suggestions please...ASAP

2012-01-13T20:17:00.000-05:00

Anyone have suggestions, I need them ASAP. Digby is our Australian Shepard. He has been hacking for a few hours now. Not rough until about half an hour ago. He is coughing up what "might" be blood. I know, NOT a good sign. However, it could be something he ate. No telling. I've left a message w/ our vet but it is around 8pm on a Friday night. You walk into the emergency vet clinic they'll charge you $1000 right there. We've done it 2X before...once w/ Bear, once w/ Aspen. They did nothing for Bear but literally watch him. For now, he seems to have stopped. We gave him some bread. Any other ideas, please, please send them our way. We are very nervous b/c as some of you know, Digby was a rescue. No idea of his age & he came to us w/ what they thought was heart worms but he's been fine w/ that. Kids are VERY nervous about all this, especially after losing Bear last year. May be a long night for us all. Just if any of you have any ideas besides going to the emergency vet clinic, please let me know. We're trying to avoid that at all costs and go tomorrow instead. However, if it does get worse, we won't hesitate to go. We love our Digby dearly and are all just scared at the moment. Obviously, no more posts till we are sure Digby is alright. and the kids for that matter.

Our stroll in the woods (part 2)

2012-01-13T19:11:00.000-05:00

time to finish this post before it gets away from me. So, on w/ pictures!

Hey, if I can get the majority smiling, I take the shot. Ironically, same shot, Logan was smiling & one other one. Go figure.

Wasn't too hot a day for Alex so that was great. Notice Logan in the background. He's not happy b/c we just finished yelling at him. He was doing something to Nik w/ the stick. Typical brothers. But, ended up hurting him and that's just not acceptable. Good news is, doesn't take him as long to recover from being upset any more.

3 musketeers. 3 trouble makers. 3 of whatever you'd like to call them.

1st attempt at a group shot. Wouldn't have been too bad had Summer been looking at the camera.

Think the group shot turned out okay.

I just think Bojan looks so grown up here. I seriously can not believe he's already 13. Of course, I should given the attitude lately.

Had apples in the car for an after walk snack. Then of course had to go to Wendy's for some free frostys. Just was a really pleasant day to go out.

Kids' names

2012-01-13T18:25:00.000-05:00

I had a request to say how to pronounce my children's names. Thought I'd do a post on where they came from ...the names, that is. I know naming a foreign adopted child can be unnerving. You don't know if you're doing the right thing by changing their birth name or not. Remember, each & every family's choice is different.

We try, whenever we feel possible, to keep our childrens' birth names. Sometimes it is possible, sometimes not. Some names just don't go over so well in the US and kids would get made fun of. Max's was one of those names. Get into all that in a minute. I guess I should start w/ Max and Irina as they were our first two kids home. I spent months saying names that I would name my first children. Excited to try them all out in the car on my way to work. Crazy, I know. Things change though. Saw Irina's picture and her name and thought it was just fine. Kept it. Now, we always, always give our children an American middle name if they have their foreign birth name just in case in a few years they'd like to change it. High school comes to mind. With Max, his birth name was Murat. Pronounced Moo Rat. Yeh, that wouldn't fly in high school. Now that Max is 16yo, he's thanking us for that name change. LOL.

Next two were Yana and Alex. Yana we kept and gave her a new American middle name. She now uses that in high school. I still refuse to call her Nicole as do her old friends and everyone else that's known her for years. Like I tell other new parents, they want to fit in as much as possible. Name is one of those things that is used for fitting in. They don't stand out as much w/ an American name. Alex was Alexander in Russia. Yet, they called him Sasha. We kept him Alexander and just call him Alex.

Next was Bojan. His birth name is Bojan. However, it was pronounced 'Boy Yana.' That would not fly in this country as sounds more feminine. So, just changed the pronunciation to something more phonetic. Now, it's 'Bo Jon' as far as pronunciation goes.

Moving right along, we have Alyona and Nik. Nik is pronounced Nick. Kept his birth name spelling which the Russians said was rare. Usually it is Nicholas or Nikolai. Nope, his was just Nik so kept it. Alyona was Alyona & kept hers. Pronounced 'Ally o-na.'

Finally, we have the last 3. Borislav became Logan. Radislava became Summer. They called her Radi for short. Just didn't think it would fly in the schools here. She is one of the few where we put first and middle as American names. Reni's name stayed the same. I guess the best way to say it is 'Ren ee.'

And for now, that's it. Pretty sure we're done but we've been "done" before. LOL. (Warren I'm sure is falling over in his chair laughing right now) I do know, we will take some time to settle into a family of 12 and enjoy a few things first. No intentions currently to adopt again in case you all are wondering. However, I leave my mind open b/c after Irina and Max (our 1st two), I swore up and down I'd never ever in my life do this again....ever. Just goes to show you, never say never. It may backfire...big time! Enjoy your weekend everyone. Catching up on some emails. Kids and I just finished an apple pie I made earlier. No big plans for this weekend. Next weekend is the time we're doing a bunch of fun things. This weekend, work on the house...boring stuff. More posts to come as I'm hoping to catch up on some stuff.

Our stroll in the woods (part 1)

2012-01-12T22:25:00.000-05:00

Last weekend we wanted to get out of the house. Weather is still so mild here. Very mild. Hard to believe it's winter. We knew we couldn't go on a hike as Summer is not quite ready for that yet. Plus, after our last wrong turn hike that ended up way longer than it should have, we decided to go to Warren's work. They have trails there. So, off we went.

And, we're off. Since Summer is so, so slow, we decided a bike would help. Plus, with her balance being so off, this helps b/c of the training wheels. When she first came home a few weeks ago, she could not pedal.

Alex and Nik stopping to admire the stream.

Ahh, about half way through and no one has killed each other yet or pelted a rock at one another. Now that's saying something.

Only looks like it's just Alyona.

Hey, if the majority are smiling, we take a group shot.

This is what took so long... the boys stopping to look at stuff or pick something up.

Alex, waiting for the other boys to catch up.

Reni and Alyona decided they should meditate while waiting for the boys.

Yana and Summer. Summer gained a lot of confidence that day and Yana got a lot of exercise w/ her as she couldn't steer.

Yeh, don't think all of them were into this picture. Oh well.

More pics to come. Need to get ready for tomorrow. Kids have homeschool academy. High schoolers don't have school. Lots to do.

Let's talk about grief

2012-01-12T17:22:00.000-05:00

I am going to be doing a few posts on post adoption, adjustments, how you can ease things, etc. I'll talk honestly about where are kids are, what they did, how they reacted to each other etc. These are going to brutally raw, honest posts. You don't have to listen if you don't want to. I want to show people that yes, adoption sometimes can be very, very hard. BUT, it can also take wonderful turns and progress can be simply staggering. You seriously won't believe my kids in the next few posts and the photos. But, more on that. For now, Let's talk about grief. Every single child leaving an orphanage must go through it. I don't care what people say. I am a very, very firm believer in this. How can they not go through it?

Think about it for a moment. A child is leaving w/ strangers. Yes, you are still a stranger to them. I don't care if they called you mom and dad the first day. You are still a stranger to them as you are new. They may have been told who you are but they don't grasp the concept yet. This is uncharted waters for them. They are about to suffer the greatest loss of their lives and they must, must grieve for that loss. What do I mean by that. Glad you asked. Again, keep in mind, these are my opinions, based on my kids and my experiences over the last twelve years. I am not an expert whatsoever. I have learned from others along the way as well as from my own experiences. So, here goes nothing.

When kids leave an orphanage, the majority of the time, it is the only life they have ever known. They have 'family' there. Yes, it is their family in their eyes. My kids even called other kids brothers and sisters. Imagine leaving your family behind today and hopping on a plane across the world. No one speaks your language. No one uses your name any more. the foods are different. The smells are different and even the sounds are different. It is enough to rock anyone's world upside down. You want to express your feelings but you can not. For no one will understand you. You become angry. You start expressing your anger to these 'strangers.' I fully believe the majority of kids leaving an orphanage go through grief.

There are five stages of grief. DABDA. Yeh, I remember something from school. LOL. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Now, not saying all children from orphanages go through all 5 stages, but I can almost bet they'll go through at least a bit. You've torn them away from everything in their eyes that they hold dear. It is the only life they've known. Doesn't matter if it was a good or bad orphanage. It was an orphanage and it was their life. You took it from them. How's that for being honest? Sorry, I think it is important for people to hear. So many go into this from a standpoint of "rescuing" a child. I know there is controversy in the use of that word. I understand that & it is an entirely different post. Whether you believe you are rescuing them or not, you must understand you have destroyed their world they hold dear. They have lost their culture, their friends/ family, their foods, their familiar surroundings, their routine, their name most times, and many other things. It is a tremendous, tremendous loss. I don't care what you call it or how you slice it. It is indeed a loss and these children must grieve in order to move forward.

Now, I have had all kinds of grievers in this bunch. Some grieved right away. Others took months. Some were angry grievers. Some, depressed. Some would literally sob in our arms for a few hours at a time. Irina did this one night. It hit her hard. She climbed in Warren's lap. She was 6yo at the time. Started to sob and he held here there for 2.5 hours straight. Sobbing. All you could do is comfort her. Remember, she was our first kiddo. We had no idea what was going on. After that, she was a totally new child. Life was breathed back in that girl. Yana was an angry griever. Very angry. She was 8.5 when she came home. My mistake was not taking her "life" from her. She would get mad, go to her Russian icons/ pictures. She needed to know that WE were the ones there to comfort her now and assure her safety. We took those things away from her..the icons, pictures, etc. Put them away. She was forced to come to us and that was her turning point here. Summer was a depressed griever. She did most her grieving in Bulgaria. Alyona was more all over the map between angry and depressed in her grief. Reni is more of an inward griever. At times, I see glimpses that she still is going through a little of it. Not much but a little.

Now, I think Logan took the cake and took DABDA to heart. Much denial in the beginning. When we were in Sofia, he decided he would NEVER learn English. Never. Then the anger came on. And boy did it ever come on. He took a lot out on his sister. In the apartment, we tried to keep them separated for the most part. I wouldn't let him go near her. Try doing that in an apartment or on the street. I know most on here have read some, not all, of the things he did while in Sofia w/ us. I can not tell you how that last day did not come quick enough. It was hard to live through. Having 2 RADishes prior to this I think helped prepare us for all his anger. Then came bargaining. He did quite a bit of that. If I'm good, can I do such and such. Then comes the depression. This pretty much hit once home. It was an eye opener that all was gone. He had a whole other life to start living. He stayed in the sad state for a bit of time. Then now, we are just now entering acceptance. He has realized he's not going back. He is here to stay, new family, new country, new foods, new name, new life.

All my children grieved in a different way and in their own time. That is the trick, to let them do it at their own pace. Do not rush grief. Yes, it's hard to see your child like that but it is normal in my opinion. They have lost a great deal. Once they are ready to rebuild though, you see a change in that personality.

I know many will not agree w/ what I said and that is okay. There are quite varying opinions on this subject. I'm just saying it from my viewpoint and what I've personally experienced. I know everyone's journey on this is different. Even Alyona who was extremely malnourished when we brought her home still had to grieve her loss. I have a few kids that came from not so great places. You'd think they'd want to get away & not grieve a loss. Yet, all of them did. I know some of this is choppy as I've written it in pieces. I have heard of others discuss this and just wanted to put my two cents worth in that probably is worth less than that. I feel for new folks adopting, it is a part that many agencies seem to fail to recognize that the kids might experience grief. And to discuss it w/ future parents. It helps to know that it can happen and it is normal. I think it's normal.

Thoughtful Thursday

2012-01-12T13:25:00.000-05:00

Oh boy, bringing this back so now I have to think. Shouldn't be too hard though. Lately, my kids have done some great things.

Irina-- Was willing to let Reni sleep in her bedroom a couple times when first home. Now, remember Irina is OCD. I don't say that jokingly either. Medication is involved. She let Reni sleep there b/c she knew Reni was scared. Yet, she also knew that wetting the bed was likely. (I'll have more on that later...the good). Irina chose love and I just thought that was thoughtful of her.

Max--

Big brother is always, always there for these girls. Ready to tackle any silly request they have. I think this is great considering most 16yo's don't seem to care much about their younger sibs. Max has balance and I love that about him.

Thoughtful for Max to think of his little sisters.

Yana-- Yana sat at the table last night and helped Reni with phonics for English. Another thoughtful sister.

Bojan-- Bojan has been helping Alex with school work if he needs it. Bojan offering help like that is just a thoughtful thing for a brother to do.

Alyona-- Alyona has really taken to the big sister role. Caring for her younger sibs. She has been teaching Reni and Summer the ropes. Though at times, she does need to back off from being 'too' much of a big sister if you know what I mean.

Alex-- Oh my goodness. I have seen so many thoughtful acts of kindness from Alex, it is hard to believe he has RAD. Truly, it is. He has come so, so far. Mom, I'll get that for you. Does Summer need help? Alyona, I'll help you take out the recycling. Really, these past few weeks, I have noticed an extremely positive change in Alex. Just been thoughtful to everyone that I honestly can't pinpoint one moment over another. I just thought he should be recognized for it all.

Logan-- Offered to take the garbage out the other day even though it wasn't his chore.

Reni-- Reni took charge and changed Summer's diaper. No questions asked. She could have passed it onto anyone else but she didn't. Put Summer's needs first.

Nik-- Oh this one takes the cake. The other day Summer fell down the stairs. I put her on my lap and sat on the floor w/ her. She was crying of course. Nik came over, kisses her and sits on the other side of me and holds her hand. I was absolutely stunned. Happy but stunned. He really does love her. Thoughtful of Nik to think of his baby sister when she was hurt.

Summer-- This little love bug is just as thoughtful. She is always there to give a hug when needed. Even when not needed.

I'll try to keep better track this upcoming week of thoughtful things my kids do. Just think every parent who has children with behavioral or mental disabilities, needs to see that there is good in every single one of them. Some days you may have to look harder than others but it's there. Yesterday, I'll admit was hard. Nik and Logan were hammering holes in their door so they could make a peephole to see who wants in their room. URGHH!!! Yes, even on days like that. Hope you're all having a good day. More to come but we're catching up w/ school stuff. They're playing for 30 minutes outside. Irina's home as she had exams today. History is next and then finishing up any work books. We're on a mission this weekend to completely clean, fix & stage the downstairs. NO other plans but that. Period. House must get ready to sell. Next weekend we have museums we're going to and a big bonfire party at a friend's house. Well, the farm. We LOVE it there. So, told my kids since next two weekends are packed, this weekend we must, must complete the house stuff. They reluctantly agreed. LOL. More later.

Milk mustaches

2012-01-11T19:57:00.000-05:00

Thought I'd share a few pictures of some of the kids enjoying that Wendy's frosty the other day.

How someone can get this messy w/ a small milkshake, I'll never know.

Irina with her milk mustache.

Reni, sporting her look. I think those magazine ads need to use milkshakes instead of a milk paste. Works quite well!

We gave Summer the jug of milk, almost empty. Told her to take a drink. She's thinking about it.

And, she was daring enough to try. Though, it did end up all over her. Trust me, was hardly any in there.

My kids are big milk drinkers. I try not to let them but they easily try to consume 2 gallons a day. At about $42 a week, it adds up so I try to limit. Don't like to but they will get carried away for sure. And they wonder why I get angry if I see an entire cup in the sink to pour down the drain. Geez.

More to come. Been a day. Logan and Nik decided they should make peep holes in their door. URGHH!!! They hammered holes through their bedroom door w/ screw drivers. Heard the pounding downstairs as I was working w/ the girls on school work. Not happy. Then, Irina ran the dishwasher. No biggie. Except we smelled burning plastic. Spatula fell and burned up. Luckily, no permanent damage. These types of things are typical in this house on a daily basis. You deal with things as they come up. I guess that's why I feel drained today. Well, that and it was a rainy day.

We got a lot of school work done today which was nice. Kids didn't think it was nice. LOL. Also, took care of an insurance issue so Nik can get speech therapy again. Go through this every year it seems. Tons more appointments made for everyone. Trying to fit lots in the next two months. Found an accountant too today which is one thing off my to do list. It is currently 30 items long. Crazy, I know. working on things bit by bit. We are entering new phases with our older kids and things. Driving, vocational rehab, things of that nature. Making tough decisions. Do you declare your children incompetent? BTW, HATE that word. But it is becoming reality these are the things we must do in the future. Neurologist first suggested it. Anyhow, more on all this stuff later as I know other families are going through the same type of thing. Maybe something we do right/ wrong may help others understand what happens when your developmentally delayed children get older and into young adults. It's a whole other world. Trust me. Navigating new waters. Got to go. I am determined to go for a long walk this evening.

Nik's drawings & makings

2012-01-10T17:49:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile since one of these posts so thought it was high time. Yes, I know I have many, many other things to write about and a ton of folks to email. But, I also need a little fun and just seeing Nik in action and his drawings makes me smile. I know some of them seem a little "dark," shall we say. But, it is cool to look at.

Hey, he's finally got a shirt on. LOL. Nik took the girls' weaving kit and made his own. He was so proud. It really is cool. He uses it now to put his plate on at dinner.

This is one of those that I am not proud of. Nik made a fishing pole out of kinex w/ string as line. Fine. However, he put a metal chain on the end of it as "bait." Told him NOT in the house. Sure enough, he casts the line and gets it stuck on the ceiling fan. We were so, so lucky it was not on. So lucky.

This was one of Nik's drawings. I am actually loving this one as the firefighters are smiling. Not only that, he drew himself and Dad! Smiling. Now, he always spells dad, Bob. However, he always spells Nik Nik. Not sure why he put Mik this time unless it truly is just a mistake. Looks like he tried to spell jail. But then again, you never know. Firefighters are putting out the fire.

Ahh, more like a Nik drawing for sure. Guy going down a zip line into a vat of water. The person falling and the line going through that rope is actually someone cutting the line down. I won't tell you what some of that 'water' is. I'll let you use your imaginations. Got to give Nik credit, he has quite the imagination.

More to come. Got a bunch done today despite the neuro appointment. Now have all kinds of other appointments as well. Alyona is going back to doc for her annual eye check. She has ONH(optic nerve hypoplasia) and strabismus so goes to a specialist. Reni goes too. Yana, Bojan and Nik are scheduled for a regular optometrist. Alyona & Bojan go back to their ortho for a check up. Bojan will need surgery. I really have no doubt about that one. Would be shocked if they didn't. Alyona shouldn't need surgery on her arm but sure it depends upon her growth. Vet is coming out to the house next week. Other medical appointments have been made for the kids but can't think of them all at the moment. February seems to be our month for appointments. Want to get all done in case anyone does need surgery. It can be scheduled before Camp Cheerio or summer vacation. Casts in summer are no fun whatsoever.

Off to make stuffed peppers for dinner. Long day but we got some things done. Hoping for the same tomorrow. More pics this evening. Even been answering emails...finally. One of my resolutions was to get organized. Ironically, I was accepted into a focus group today....about organization. LOL.

Results are in (MRI & EEG)

2012-01-10T14:36:00.000-05:00

Today we went to neuro. Logan was up first. I am pleased to say if he had epilepsy in Bulgaria, he no longer does. He does not show signs of it now so we will begin the process to ween him off these meds. It is a slow process and must be tapered. Have the schedule for it and will begin tomorrow. This is thrilling news to say the least. Ironically, he does not want to be off the meds. Surprised me but I think it is more out of habit and who knows what they told him may happen if he doesn't take them. We are to watch out for any signs of seizures and of subtle seizures as the doc called them. Logan will go back in a few months and then hopefully after that be fully released from neuro...wahoo!!!

Now, Summer's report was not as glowing. Some of you I'm sure are unaware but one of Summer's dx's in Bulgaria was agenesis of the corpus callosum. A rare birth defect where the corpus callosum is missing. This is the part that connects the two hemispheres of the brain so that they can "talk" to each other. Well, it is indeed missing. Completely. This explains SO, SO much. So much. Her little brain takes awhile to process info. Quite awhile. I know most parents would be in utter shock w/ a dx such as missing part of your brain. We however, are used to things like this and took it as just something on paper. It does indeed though explain the potty training issue fully. He said the frontal lobe can't communicate. Ironically, a lot of what is a part of this disorder is the SAME as FAS issues. Neuro said she'll have quite a few processing issues. We know that already. Speech issues too possibly. Know that too as she is still doing quite a bit of baby speak. My others adopted at this age & this time had quite a lot of English by this time. Summer can not figure out how to open doors. Whether she's left or right handed. Neuro said that is b/c the hemispheres are not talking to each other. Summer will be delayed in many areas. The extent of her mental challenges will take a few years to figure out. Just how far she'll go. However, our goal is the same w/ every child we bring home...to reach their fullest potential possible no matter the dx.

Summer will have an OT and PT eval later this month. They had an opening tomorrow but I'll be honest, I'm beat. And, I can't go w/ the rest of them as it will be a few hours long. this will tell us where her gross and fine motor skills are. Speech obviously is out till she gets more English. Double edged sword there as she will not be able to learn & process this as quickly. I'm guessing next year before an eval is possible but we are "hooked" up w/ speech so not a problem.

I was very shocked at the dx to be honest. Well, shocked and not shocked. Not shocked as I saw some probable issues that may be related to this dx. Shocked b/c I've had so many medicals before that are all wrong on my kids. Makes me wonder what in the world happened at her birth for them to order an MRI the very next day. That's not typical for any kid, any country. This is a rare disorder that is a birth defect. It can be associated w/ other syndromes. Neuro said this will not explain her bruises not healing & easy to bruise. Her bloodwork (standard bloodwork) came back normal as did the thyroid. Neuro said it may be worth looking further into issues w/ that. Gave us no direction on where to start w/ that though. So, I'll ask the ped. I know for a fact she probably has parasites and need to do the testing. I'll get that this week. All my kids get tested. All have tested positive for H-pylori. New kids haven't been tested yet. My other kids were treated for it. I never got them retested but they do not seem to have any issues w/ it any more. Doc thinks they're fine too. Now, just need to do the new 3 kiddos. Those who've done this before know it is NOT a fun process. We'll also probably check Summer for Celiac's as well. Some signs there too. Someone on here suggested that and makes sense.

Each new child typically brings about new dx's. We learn as we go. After ten kids, not too much is an OMG kind of moment. It's more like, fine this is what it is let's go from here. Majority of my kids have multiple dx's. I have a feeling Summer will add to her list in the future. That is perfectly fine w/ us. Summer is still our baby girl. Still lights up a room w/ that smile. And frankly, she is no different a child than she was yesterday. Nothing's changed her. Yes, a dx came in. It doesn't change who she is. Though it does indeed explain why many things w/ her are the way they are. Why she'll just cry out of nowhere. Her brain is frustrated and she can't express it. All I know is my daughter learned to say chocolate and KNOWS what it means. And that my friends is just fine w/ me. That's my girl. Summer will do just fine here. She adds such a spark of joy. She is our little spitfire. She has taught us a lot already. Following right in Nik's footsteps. He has taught us all so much over the years. It will be no different for Summer. I'll keep you posted on things. But, I won't blame things on her dx. Just as I haven't for my other kids. It is not an excuse for their behaviors. Yes, it explains them for sure. But, just as my FASers know, this makes Summer no different than anyone in this house. She will learn albeit her own pace. She will learn. That is fact. She will reach her fullest potential and given every opportunity every other child is given in life here. We love our baby girl to pieces. Potty training will have to wait and that is okay. Before, it seemed more urgent. Now, not so much. It is what it is. She will learn in due time. She has her entire life ahead of her. And just as her name suggests, it is very bright.

Daddy's girl

2012-01-09T21:45:00.000-05:00

who would have thought a few short weeks ago, that Summer would ever be to this point? I mean really, we couldn't be in the same room w/ her let alone touch her. The turn around to me is inexplicitable. It truly is. It's like a light switch went off inside her once we got home.

Summer, listening to daddy read a book. Alyona wanted no part of reading so Warren asked Summer. So, Alyona was mad even though she didn't want dad to read a book to her. I say jealousy will get you nowhere. She didn't like my answer, hence her pouting here. One day, you will actually be able to see my coffee table or kitchen counters. pet peeve of mine...clutter. I hate it w/ a passion but this house, it seems to find me.

Summer, holding onto Daddy.

I think she is very comfortable with where she is here.

Yep, Summer has Daddy wrapped around her little finger for sure. He won't admit that you know. She comes running to the door when he gets home from work... "daddy, daddy!" Too cute. She really is just a joy to have around. You can't help but to smile when she walks in the room.

Manic Monday

2012-01-09T21:33:00.000-05:00

I am definitely ready to start a new week. Was a crazy weekend to be sure. Today was okay. Wrote something earlier on my FAS group. Thought you all might get a kick out of it to help describe only part of my day.

A little bit ago, Nik was"fishing" in the living room. Made a fishing pole out of kinex w/string & a metal chain as 'bait.' Told him to stop. Yeh, a world NOFASer of mine seems to understand. Went "fishing" and wrapped it aroundthe ceiling fan. Max got it out and luckily, fan wasn't on. Last night, my husbandsays "stop! Do you hear that sound?" I say "no, what is it." Hesaid it's all the guardian angels running into each other trying to keepup w/ these kids. LOL. So true.

Kids and I did homeschool stuff of course. New kids are further behind than I expected. Well, I expected Reni to be behind. Same with Summer. Thought Logan though would be a little further along. However, he is not that far behind that he can't catch up so that's a good thing. Refreshed some geography today. Sight words and phonics for Nik and Logan. we'll all get there. Slowly but surely.

Logan got grounded for the first time today. I was extremely disappointed in him. Extremely. I know he was one of the orphanage bullies in Bulgaria. I know this. I'm not naive nor stupid to think he wasn't. He is an 11yo boy and in orphanages, you take on certain roles for survival. In the short amount of time he's been here, we have gotten rid of a majority of bullying behaviors. He does not do it to ANY of his sibs whatsoever. Now, today, the kids chased after the dogs as they had escaped. Nik tagged along, camera in hand. He recorded the event. On that video Nik captured, Logan was on camera caught red-handed kicking Kota! I was appalled, disappointed and frankly wondering why the dog didn't attack him. This is Kota after all. Logan stood there in front of me not able to look me in the eye. Knew he was busted, knew he was wrong. No outside playing, no video games, nothing. He was on the verge of tears which is great b/c that actually means he cares & has empathy. After dealing with 2 RADishes, I think we can handle this one. Just was so disappointed b/c I've seen such HUGE strides in this kiddo of mine but today felt like such a set back. I know we have only been home a few weeks. I know this is normal and it too will pass. Doesn't make it easier for sure.

Tomorrow is a big day. We finally get the MRI/ EEG results of Summer and Logan. Not sure what to expect really. Thinking that Logan may indeed have epilepsy as he's told us of seizures in Bulgaria. Summer, at times I feel is right on target. Other times, I do think about it quite a bit. She's always falling (lack of balance), delayed, can't figure out simple tasks at times, etc. I think to myself, could she be missing part of her brain? Does this explain it or am I reading too much into things. I hope I'm reading too much into things. I do. I see her as my baby girl who can do anything she sets her mind to. Hard to see the other stuff sometimes. Yes, I am well aware she is delayed to an extent. Only thing is I am hoping they are orphanage delays. It is what it is. We love Summer to pieces no matter what. However, right now we are looking at the future for some of our kids. Some that will never leave home but desire to for independence they'll never be able to experience. It's a harsh reality. As our oldest is 19, it is becoming more of a reality daily. I will write about it soon, just hard. So many decisions to make. Hard to know what is right, what is wrong, what they will succeed at, are you doing all you can and so many other questions. So even though she's young, these delays are life long. We have to plan immensely for them when they get older. That is actually another purpose of this blog. To help others as we are just now venturing into young adulthood with our first child with disabilities. It is nothing like an IEP meeting. No, for this is life decisions about their life.

Sorry, getting sidetracked. Tomorrow is a big day. Answers and most likely, more questions. Ideally, an all clear and go home is what I desire. I know that is most likely a dream. Hey, we dream here, we dream big. LOL. Warren goes to the dentist on Wednesday. Other than that, we should not have any other appointments. However, about to make a slew of them and expect a few surgeries out of some. Irina's nose is collapsing again. Found out years ago it was most likely broken at the orphanage. DOn't know if this is when she fell out of the window over there or not. Not sure. It causes her issues w/ breathing. So, back to ENT to get it checked out once more. Bojan is going to need surgery on his clubfoot. It's bad again. I know at least one toe will need amputating. Other work done on it as well. Alyona was scheduled last year to have her tonsils out but we canceled it. She is having tonsil stones again so trying to decide if we need to get it done. That's most likely 3 surgeries right there. Reni and Summer have HUGE tonsils but we are not doing anything unless they have issues. Our ped is agreeing w/ that decision. Irina also found a lump in her abdomen. I think it is just a cyst but getting that checked out anyhow. So, many appointments to make.

Much is going on here. Trying to fix up the house as much as possible so we can list it. First, have to figure out how to float what the loss will be on this house. Selling in this market, there will be a loss. We know this. Just want all our ducks in a row before proceeding. I'm still catching up on emails to people. I"m getting there but still way behind. It's life. It's a moving target.

Birthday boys

2012-01-09T14:35:00.000-05:00

The other day, January 5th, was Warren and Bojan's birthdays. Yes, they celebrate on the same day. We have 5 birthdays crammed into a month ...Summer, Irina, Warren, Bojan and mine. Feels like it never ends. And, throw in Christmas and New Year's to that mix. Busy. So, the other night we made the boys a cake. Thought I'd share a few pictures from that evening.

Everyone getting ready for cake. Notice Reni and Nik off to the side w/ their cameras in hand.

Bojan, daring Max to pick him up.

Call the fire department! LOL. Warren turned the big 50 and Bojan turned 13. Both huge milestones for each happening to occur on the same day.

Warren and Bojan getting ready to blow out the fire.

They both blew out the candles so not sure why I only caught Warren this go around. I think he had to go back a second time.

The melted mess afterwards. Only found one lighter so by the time we were finished, those first few candles were mush.

Three kiddos waiting for the cake.

I do promise all my kids on pajama shirts. This time, it's Logan without a shirt.

One of the birthday boys enjoying a second helping of cake.

The other birthday boy w/ his oldest daughter. Who'd have ever thought he'd be the father of 10?

Bojan still has to decide what he wants to do for his birthday. He's still not sure. Since we have no birthdays in February, I told him to take his time. Do something fun that he wants to do. More posts to come but I have a social studies/ geography lesson we need to get cracking on. More later.

A fishy gift

2012-01-08T23:37:00.000-05:00

Ahh, after such a downer it seems of a post, it's time for something a bit different. We have been so grateful for the various gifts we've received over the past few weeks. From clothing to food to babysitting. Everything is very much appreciated. Well, this past week was no different.

Our neighbors gave us 3 fish! Beautiful fish. We have an aquarium but it was empty. They were getting rid of their fish. Some beautiful goldfish & coi. Came from a pond. I know the tank looks empty. Haven't put plants in it yet.

Aren't they just beautiful fish?! We have 2 good size aquariums in this house and then 2 small aquariums. Love fish. Have always, always dreamed of a saltwater tank. Need a room for it though. New house for sure there will be a huge saltwater tank. Well, it's a wish list item. LOL. Was just sweet of the neighbors to give us some fish. Was perfect b/c we had an empty aquarium.

Our weekend

2012-01-08T23:29:00.000-05:00

Don't get too excited. It was an FAS kind of weekend for sure. Those of you with FASD kiddos know exactly what I mean by that. Yes, I'll take pity. LOL. Friday was nothing interesting. Saturday, we agreed to get up and get moving. Only trouble was is that everyone wanted to stay up all hours and no one slept Friday evening. I swear, this keeps up, I may be serving Melatonin w/ that chicken. So, ditched any plans we did have. I won't go into detail. Let's just say 2 kids had a complete and utter meltdown & one forgot to take meds. Think lions and tigers w/out the cages. Yes, that's what it felt like all weekend long. Hence, no posts for a bit. Now, I know every once in awhile we'll have these and get through them. Just seemed like this weekend it hit extra hard. To top it off, it was a full moon.

Saturday, Warren and I had to do a few errands. Once we felt it 'safe' to leave, we did. We did take Nik and Summer with us. Plus, we weren't going to be gone that long. Get stamps, Nik a haircut. Those two things were about 4 miles from our house. No lines either so super quick. Then, went to Staples to cash in some rewards points. A friend at soccer gave us this suggestion and we love it. You turn in empty ink cartridges and get $20 credit to spend w/in a certain amount of time. You can buy the ink cartridges off ebay in a lot and cheap. She saves the coupons and ends up w/ $60 at a time. Usually, they'll also run adds for a certain amount off. Yesterday, I had a $5 off coupon and a $20 cash reward coupon. So, we stocked up on some toilet paper, got a tape dispenser, and a new calculator(ours was broken). It was great b/c it's all free. Though, we spent a tad more. $3 more. After that, TJMaxx for household items. Trying to sell the house and let's just say a few of our things are torn, ripped, cut or whatever. Trying to make it look like ten kids don't live here. Hard to do.

After the quick errands, off to Wendy's for some free shakes. Everyone I hope is using their coupons. I HOPE you all purchased those back in September/ October! It was their adoption promotion. Booklet of 10 free shakes for a buck. I bought $5 worth. Kids love it over the next few months. Perfect size too. Came home and cleaned up w/ what was left of our day.

Woke up this morning. Nik was playing with a lighter on the couch. Nice. I don't even know how he found this one. We use them for our grill. Kept well out of reach. URGHH!!! No cause and effect thinking really gets to you sometimes. Warren made a great breakfast and we decided maybe the outdoors would help with all the out of sync stuff going on here. But, couldn't do a real hike as Summer is just not up to that type of stuff yet. So, got her bike & put it in the car. Drove to Warren's work and walked the trails there. Great day for it. I'll have a picture post on it later. It was enjoyable and only one incident. This one w/ Logan. Hey, if it's not one kid, it's another.

After the time on the trails in the woods, we treated the kids to free frostys again. I know, two days in a row. Really, not typical here but it was a hilly trail here and there and that's our excuse. We're sticking to it. BTW, these are those junior frosty deals. Tiny cups. Just the right size. Before this though, gave them the snack in the car. Bag of apples I brought. We eat at least a bag of apples a day. We'd love an orchard.

Came home and started to clean up the yard. Started to rain hard so back inside. However, right before this, we learned one of the kids did something. Something that could have really, really ended badly. Okay, we have a pool. It takes chlorine. We have those huge buckets of chlorine. Out of the way. Warren went to add some to the pool. We could hear him coughing from the other side of the house. He screamed get away. The bucket was literally HOT. There was some type of chemical reaction going on. The chlorine he said was yellow. He said one of the kids had to have added something to that. Can't figure out yet what exactly happened. Everyone denies of course so you don't bother asking for some things. There are no "dangerous" chemicals here but we do have cleaning products under the sink and some outdoor stuff stored in the garage. Not sure what happened. All I know is Bojan and I could smell that chlorine on the other side of the yard...open wooded area! It was nuts. Despite our constant state of hypervigilence, you can never watch everyone every single second of the day. I have heard, FASD kids are the equivalent of having 3 kids. On days like this, I must agree.

Just seemed like an out of whack weekend. I know it's all par for the course and we all have these from time to time. Just with some of my kids, they have no cause and effect thinking, lack of impulse control, and poor judgment. All FASD qualities amongst other things. Makes me tired just thinking about my weekend. I know it could have been much worse. No one was hurt. Okay, don't count the fingers that got slammed in the door today. Or the dogs that escaped. Or all the stuff that got broken. We have a saying around here..."with every new day, there's fresh hope." Tomorrow is a new day. Thank goodness. Very grateful bad days aren't everyday. Just had to share we too have 'those days.' Much more pleasant posts to come. But as I've said before, I have to keep our life with FASD honest. Others need to know it is not all cakes & roses.

Blast from the past!

2012-01-06T17:36:00.000-05:00

Hey, 4th post for the day. I'm on a roll! Or kids are out of my way. One of the two. It's now January. A new year. Thought I'd bring back the monthly blast from the past so you can see how much they've grown. Unfortunately, I don't have much from January from years past. Not sure why. So, I'll share what I have though.

OMG, don't you just want to eat Alex up?! He's too cute! This was January of 2006. Before our kitchen remodel as you can tell.

Bojan and Max. See, just burns me up when they blame the new kids for messes on the floor. This was BEFORE Alyona and Nik and before Logan, Summer and Reni. Yeh, not happy then either w/ their room keeping skills. This too was Jan. 2006.

January of 2009. Alyona, Bojan and Nik at their grandparents' house. Alyona is always a girlie girl in dresses. Boys, well they can care less what they wear.

January of 2009. Nik. He went and picked all the daffodils in our yard for me. He was so proud. I couldn't yell at him. Wasn't that sweet?

The teens. Wow, have they grown since 2010! Max, Yana and Irina.

Only in NC in January could you have someone in a hammock w/ bare feet. Yana, listening to some tunes. I believe this was January of 2009. Or maybe 2010.

Our big snow of January of 2010. We were all SO excited. As you know, it doesn't snow much in NC & when it even snows an inch, the entire city shuts down. I kid you not. People wipe out shelves in the grocery store. It really is funny. Anyhow, we love it b/c we play all day long soaking up every single snowflake. Here's the bunch in 2010. Doesn't look complete, does it?

Alyona, my little snow angel. She was born and lived her first 7 years above the Arctic Circle in Murmansk, Russia. At first, I forgot why she hated the snow. Her birth mother froze to death in the snow. Now though, this snow angel can once again frolic in the snow to her heart's content.

Well, that was my January blast from the past. Sorry, I didn't do December. Since this is the 4th post, not sure how many more I'll do this evening. Need to answer emails first and then we have that thing called dinner. Right now, kids have friends over so their just playing or hanging out. Summer is in her cowboy boots w/ a dress on. Hope everyone is going to have a relaxing weekend. We are prepping the house to sell it. So, lots of cleaning and fixing. May throw in either a hike or a trip to museums. We'll see.

Looking for Mariah's family

2012-01-06T17:00:00.000-05:00

I know I need to start advocating for some kiddos VERY soon. I'm getting all that organized. But, a friend of mine posted about a little girl that I'd love for you all to meet. She wrote about her. She is 7yo and in EE. Here's the link to her blog and about 'Mariah.' Share her post b/c we know her family is out there somewhere! Anyone have reservations about adopting older kids, feel free to contact me. They do indeed have SO, SO much to offer. I've adopted ages 3, 4, 4, 4, 6, 6.5, 7, 8.5, 9, & 11yo. So plenty around Mariah's age. Please read about her and help spread the word of this precious little girl. Thanks so much. I'll have more kiddos to talk about very soon.

Flabulous to fabulous

2012-01-06T16:42:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been awhile since one of these posts. One word for the delays...holidays! Yes, I too indulged in way too many Christmas cookies. But, back on track and loving it. I wrote about this in another post but will write again briefly. Okay, Alex and I have decided to do a 5K this spring. I can't remember if it is in April or March. Believe April. Gives us time. Someone sent to this blog a link for novices for running all kinds of races. Trust me, Alex & I are not running to compete. LOL. I'm doing just to see if I indeed can do it. Alex's nick name is Dash(from the Incredibles) btw. He is fast.

Now, this is our first week for training. You are supposed to do a 1.5 miles. Running it every other day and taking off on Fridays. Well, I told Alex mom must walk this first week. 1) I have a bad knee and want to get it used to it again & 2) I may die. LOL. Alex said okay. We have been walking around 4:30/ 5pm every evening. I measured w/ the car to make sure we do the right amount. It's truly not bad at all. Yes, I know I'm only walking it right now but hey, it's more than I was doing before. I took yesterday off versus today b/c it was Warren & Bojan's birthdays and Warren and I went out to dinner. So, in a bit, Alex and I will hit the pavement again. I actually am proud that we are sticking to it and not making excuses.

In addition, I've been sticking to doing very light weightlifting and stretching every single day. I wanted to add yoga in this week but that just didn't happen as I had planned it. So, that is my goal for next week...to add in evening yoga before bed. I am liking getting back into things again. I feel if I add one little thing each week, it's not so overwhelming. And, I'll stick to it. Having Alex walk w/ me also serves as a motivator. For now, not changing the diet quite yet. I want to get my routine of exercising in. Plus, once I add the running in while changing the calories at the same time, the weight should come right off. Geez, why didn't I do what I went to college for?? LOL. For those new, my degree is Health and Fitness Specialist w/ concentration in Cardiopulmonary Rehab. So yeh, no excuses that I don't know what to do. Just need to do it.

I'm actually really excited that I've tackled this & do not think this will be another attempt & failure. The motivation is there, the determination, the strength to keep going, etc. I feel I'm very ready to do this and to lose weight in the process. So, that is my first week in the New Year. Starting walking 1.5 miles everyday but 1 (rest day). Continued light weight lifting and stretching daily. Next week, will start to run. Please beta blockers kick in! LOL. Don't worry, cardiologist cleared me for exercise long ago. Also, don't have to go back for another 2 years. I want him to see a new person when I go back. I will update every Friday. Like I said, next week, want to add some evening Yoga in a few times a week and I must start running part of the 1.5 miles. If you see me around the neighborhood and I look like I might pass out, yell at me and tell me to keep going. I know I can do this. In a few months, you will see me run that 5K. I know to many of you 5K is nothing. But when you start w/ doing nothing, it becomes everything.

Bread, brains and broken

2012-01-06T14:50:00.000-05:00

Well, been a long day and so much has been happening. I have a ton of posts to catch up on and will this weekend...I hope. You know, it's life. Thought I'd share a few bits & pieces via pictures and play catch up on our day at the end. So, here goes nothing.

Last night, a friend stopped by w/ a great gift...bread! Lots and lots of it.

This is not just any bread. Nope. It's all kinds of Panera Bread. Loaves, bread bowls, bagels, danishes, etc. We froze a bunch of it. She brought it over in garbage bags full. We had bagels for breakfast...yum. Having french toast tomorrow for breakfast. Kids made sandwiches for school on it. Just really, really tasty. Thanks so much!

Reni, working on some math homeschool stuff. Not going to move the box of bread either.

The other day, Yana plugged in her tablet to charge it over night. It melted.

Literally melted. House could have caught fire! Geez. I wrote the place I bought it from yesterday. Waiting to hear back. It has a year warranty. It should not have melted, that's for sure.

Today was the first day of the kids' homeschool academy classes. They LOVED it! Alex was shocked to see 3 of his classmates from his school. I was not as shocked. Alyona has been crocheting since she came home! Nik LOVED the bug class. Logan and Alex were really enjoying stop-motion film making. They take that and Gizmos and Gadgets where they'll build stuff. Nik and Reni are taking Munchie Math. Reni is taking a dance class and Nik the bug class. Alyona is taking Green Thumb class and crocheting. Summer is in discovery kids and I'll be helping out in there as well. Kids really had a great time today. Gives us a great supplement and a good break from some routine here. They can barely wait to go back next week. They'll also be taking classes on Wednesday nights at our church once they start back up again. Soccer doesn't start till first week of March. So, not too many sports right now, we'll be going places on the weekends along /w fixing up the house.

Much more happening here at Chaos Manor and trying to sort through it all. I have MANY emails to return & I'm sorting through them now. We're done w/ school for the day so kids are watching a movie right now, while some are playing house. Enjoy your weekend everyone. I'll probably have a bunch of posts trying to catch up. This is my get organized weekend. we hope.

Pictures we couldn't show

2012-01-04T22:44:00.000-05:00

This is one of the hardest parts of adoption (besides the wait) is not being able to share pictures of your future kids w/ the world. Most countries, you can not till after court. With all our "stuff," we did not show pictures even after court just to be on the safe side. Well, I figured it was high time I showed some of the pics from our first meetings. I'll start w/ Summer. As some of you may recall, she had a very, very difficult time meeting us and even coming to us. As you now know, that is definitely not a problem anymore I'm happy to report. So, here to share.

Isn't she just a doll?! This is why it is so dog gone hard not to share pictures. You want to scream from the rooftops this is my kid and I love her! But, you can't. Summer is holding a photo album we gave her.

This was a sandbox she would play in. It was hard to sit down as the ants made this their home too. Lots of ants. Notice none of us sitting down. Look at that body language. Boy, what a change in her!

Trying to just engage her in activity or conversation. For those new to adoption, please don't be scared if your child acts like Summer. They do come around. Remember, you are a stranger to them in their mind. We kept our distance b/c it was for the best for her. Very hard for us, but best for her.

Yes, sitting down was tough. Plus, it was the middle of summer and hot.

Daddy, building sandcastles w/ his baby girl.

I can't say I miss these days. She was just so, so timid. It was almost hard to watch her in this state. We knew why as we had experience. However, didn't make it any easier. You travel half way around the world and all you want is a hug or just a simple touch of the hand. I know years from now, Summer will laugh at this just as Irina does w/ all her photos from our meeting.

My poor baby. And on my first trip, no way for me to make it any better.

Not going to smile for mom, is she?

Working with Daddy on some coloring. She alternates between left and right hand. She doesn't know which she prefers yet. And I'm talking present day, not back then. This was the closest we could get to her with our first visit.

Oh, if looks could kill. Her hair was long and it was cut before we picked her up on trip two. Girls at home were looking forward to doing her hair. Oops.

Last picture I was ever able to get of my baby girl before leaving her for months.

Now, as I sit here and she's laughing and not going to sleep, it all feels right. It all came together in due time. She's meant to be here. Summer is right where she belongs. I know I was scared in the beginning just as she was. But now, my baby girl doesn't want to let me go. Runs to her Daddy when he gets home from work all while yelling "daddy, daddy!" She's our little spitfire and has no shell whatsoever to come out of. Summer is an absolute joy to have around...when she's not driving us crazy of course. LOL. She is so loved here and so wanted. Yes, as you can see, that first trip was difficult and not a dream meeting. But boy, now, we are truly living the dream! The sibs first trip pics coming soon. They had no issues whatsoever that first trip bonding. Wait till you see.

Their first pictures....

2012-01-04T22:14:00.000-05:00

it's what drew me in. I thought since the kids have now been home awhile, I will give you a look at the first pictures I saw of them. You know the referral pictures that you keep pinned to the fridge during the entire process until you can see them and touch them for real. Those pictures. Summer was the child we picked out first. It was her eyes that did it for me. Something about her. She has the most gorgeous big brown eyes I think I have ever seen on a child.

This is one of the first pictures of Summer we received. No smile but we knew something was in there for sure. Just had to have faith. No, she's not left handed. Reni is but not Summer.

Isn't she just beautiful?! I just wanted to hold her. That was it. Who knew it was going to be SO LONG before I'd be able to. Now, the child doesn't want to let me go. She is such a sweetheart. Her hemaginoma is more pronounced here than now. It's on her lip but now, you can't even really tell a difference unless you're looking. We're not correcting anything b/c frankly, I don't see anything to correct. I believe she was 2yo here. Perfect. The age I wanted. Little did I know, 4 would be the age I longed for.

She's standing up. And, was pretty balanced in the video. Summer was located in that orphanage that everyone is talking about lately. She was there for 2.5 years. It was where I thought we'd go to pick her up but she was transferred. And that was fine w/ us. I just knew she was ours.

It's funny, you pretty much know which kids are yours. See, after we accepted Summer's referral (well, she was on a waiting list obviously due to special needs), we were looking for maybe one more child. We really wanted a deaf child so Nik would have someone to talk to besides his hearing sibs. That did not work out and that's alright. Nik is still right at home. Anyhow, we found 2 sibs. Both 4yo twins. Boy and a girl. Boy would need his leg amputated but was very healthy. Girl would need extra care. Accepted both. However, shortly obtained a video and realized the little girl would need 24/7 care. Something that with 9 other kids, we would not be able to provide. It was very, very hard to let go yet for some reason, very peaceful about it. See, what we didn't tell anyone was that we were feeling uneasy but couldn't figure out why. Both of us were. Now we know. They were not our kids. Our friends went to this orphanage in June. Saw these two and found out a couple was adopting them that only had one older child. This couple had much experience. Our friends had said that indeed she would have needed extensive care. All worked out. Though I will say this, we felt extremely guilty that day having to write why we could not parent the twins. It would not have been fair to the little girl nor the other kids in the family here. I hope that made sense.

So, we were looking at other kids. Our agency thought they had the perfect two. Both of us saw the video and said yes. Most definitely ours. Kept watching it and smiling. Knew somehow, they'd fit right in. Just a gut feeling. I could picture them playing soccer in the yard. Guess what, that's just what they were doing earlier today! yes, this referral was for Logan and Reni. 2 older kids no one wanted. Everyone passed up. It's hard to place a sib group. Let alone an older sib group where one is a boy. And that boy has epilepsy. And the girl is very delayed. yes, not on the top of everyone's list. Thank goodness though b/c they then became the top of our list! First pictures we ever received of them.

I tried to blow it up but is even more grainy. This is all we had to go on forever. Isn't he a handsome young man though? Makes you wonder how in the world he can get passed up for so long. Why do they wait? Especially boys? Trust me, girls are not "easier" as people say.

Reni's picture. See, at some point, she did indeed have glasses. It was at a minimum a year that she went w/out as far as we can determine from future photos. But this is not a correct script I don't think. Her eye still turns very badly. Her current glasses have corrected this. Again, very cute yet passed over.

I know much of it is a cultural thing. All my children from Bulgaria are of Turkish origin. And that is just fine with me. They are beautiful, beautiful kids. It is so hard to see older kids passed over time and time again. They do have a ton to offer.

Reni and Logan are bio sibs. I think they were in a total of 3 orphanages from what I can gather. The one orphanage we picked them up from was wonderful. I still stand by that statement. I can tell just from where they took them, what they did, the nutrition they had, etc. Director had it right.

I think before they were transferred there is where all the trouble occurred. Again, this is JUST SPECULATION as I was NOT there with them. I am being given this information from my own kids. This is what happened with Yana as well years ago once she started talking. Truth started flowing. This is where (not their last orphanage) the rock incident for Reni took place and some other "traumas."(my term for them. Reni explained in the yard they used sticks on them) Kids are starting to talk more. Reni is filling me in on quite a bit. And I know many folks wouldn't share this info but I want people to know. It really effects how you parent them when they get home and it lets you know how you can help them. When they have been hurt in their past, your main goal as their parent is to help them feel safe and secure. In the beginning, if I ever raised my voice, Reni would squat to the ground and shake her hand no, no. Now, in this house, it's loud. You must raise your voice at times just to be heard. Plus, Nik is always loud just due to the deafness. Now, she does not even flinch. To me, a sign she is feeling safer and safer each day.

I know I will never fully understand their past. I will not know all that happened to them. But I will be filled in on much I'm sure. They'll be able to recall even more than Yana did. Yana was 8.5 when we adopted her. These two are 9 and 11. And Reni feels safe enough now to share. Logan does not have as much language as her yet. There are many, many signs that Reni was negatively effected by some type of trauma in her past. The good news is kids are resilient. Reni is doing beautifully. So great in fact, that on New Year's Eve, she's going to a party w/ Alyona to one of their friends and spending the night. She has come a long, long way in a few short weeks. She knows she is loved. She knows she is safe. She knows no one will hurt her. She knows there are people here to protect her.

I know this post got sidetracked a bit. Hope you don't mind. I know this is a topic many do not talk about. It's hard but it is reality for some. Reni told me what happened one time when they used sticks on her. The only thing you can do in this situation as a parent is comfort them and listen. Just listen. If they want to talk, they will. Some of mine have kept quiet about things in their past. Some have not. One of mine used to get picked up by their ears. They'd also get slapped for wanting more bread. One of mine got in trouble for trying to take the caretakers toilet paper. They only wanted real toilet paper. See, in their orphanage the kids used newspaper instead of toilet paper. I could go on w/ things that I know happened to some of my kids. I won't. You get the idea. As 'Annie' puts it... "It's a hard knock life for us. It's a hard knock life for us. No one cares for you a smidge when you're in an orphanage." You remember the song and the movie for sure. And please do not misinterpret what I'm trying to say. I want to make this perfectly clear NOT all orphanages are bad. That is NOT true by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, a few of my kids were in great orphanages. Reni & Logan's orphanage in Shumen was fantastic! They were caring, observant, kind, and really wanted what was best for the kids. They provided for them. Took them places. Prepared them for adoption. Like I said, they got it right. The kids respected the director yet did not fear them. This was a good orphanage. But it was not a home and there is indeed a difference. However, this was not the only orphanage they went to. And they were not treated the same in their previous orphanage. Like I said before though, not all orphanages are bad. But not a single orphanage is a family. You can not replace a family life. Not a bit. Majority of my kids came from orphanages where the caretakers took care of the kids and loved them. Some of my kids did not. I know which ones did and did not have a "good" orphanage. I will not share that info though. It will remain private. Just know, over the 8 orphanages we have seen in person over the years, the majority did an awesome job w/ the resources they had and honest to goodness truly loved the kids. I mean really loved them. In fact, I still keep in touch w/ some of the caretakers at various orphanages. Their love did not fade. That is the kind (if you had a choice) of orphanage you would want your child from. Others I have seen, do not have that same kind of love. All you can do is hope and pray for the children left behind. Right now, we are thankful our Bulgarian kids came from the orphanages they came from. And from what I've heard, the vast majority of orphanages in this country are wonderful. Again, not the same as a family but many do help prepare the kids for the transition into family life and give them the stability and skills they need while at the orphanage. Hope that made sense. This post is already too long. Sorry about that.

Mini happenings

2012-01-04T17:31:00.000-05:00

I know it's mid-week but a bunch going on so thought I'd share a few brief things. Nik as of right now is no longer receiving speech therapy that he so desperately needs. Our therapy place is saying that BCBS won't pay for it. We get home speech therapy for various reasons. Main one being would you like to drag 6 kids to speech 3X a week? Half of them being FASers. Umm, no. It would be disruptive to other kids as well. Plus, therapist does NOT live far at all from us and has a cluster of us in the same area. Anyhow, we don't know what's going on w/ insurance as we have private insurance through my husband's work that is handled by BCBS but totally different ball game. We have more benefits. We have unlimited speech IF it is deemed medically necessary and all docs sign off. Not hard to do w/ Nik's case. Anyhow, now they are saying we don't have this and only have 25 visits a year. So, called HR today & left a message w/ benefits. I'll be waiting for a call back. Hoping for good news. Would hate for speech to disappear when it does indeed make a difference.

In the process of possibly participating in a research project for older FASD kids. Basic process started today and testing would be in the future. If you are in the triangle area and would like to participate, please contact me and I'll give you the contact info. Has to be documented FASD & be between ages of 12 and 18. Think it will be an interesting project. Would be great to have this disorder get some visibility. Schools definitely do NOT know what it is. URGHH!!!

Took the kids to the park today w/ a friend of mine. Was great having some adult conversation. It was chilly today so we were the only ones there. Kids had the entire park. Mine took off their jackets so only but so cold for them. Wish I had pictures but can't find my camera. I know it's somewhere but not sure where.

Came home and had lunch. School work followed for the next 3 hours. Really working w/ Logan and Nik on sight words. And phonics of course. Alyona is trying to learn money. It's just so hard for her and hard for me to watch at times. More on school later.

Have an IEP meeting for Max coming up. Have a vocational rehab meeting for Irina. Can't wait for her to get into the job community. I really think it will help her. I have to set up an IEP meeting for Alyona to go to middle school next year. Where Bojan goes. Except, she can't go there or she'll be put in a life skills class. She's higher functioning than that. Deserves more. It will be a fight to get her put to another school. I know this as fact as my neighbor/ former classmate of hers, had to fight for her son to get him in this class...at another school. County does not want to comply despite it being in the best interest of the child. It's crazy but one of the many reasons we need to leave this county. Great for others who fall into the 'normal' category. But if you sway either direction, special needs or gifted, there is nothing here for them. Or, at least that has been our experience the last 12 years.

Working on house things in order to put it officially on the market. Praying it will be mid-January. Need it to be soon.

Many other little things are happening as well. Warren and Bojan share the same birthday....tomorrow. With the adoptions recently, Warren and I have been unable to do anything for our anniversary, Christmas and now birthdays. I wanted to do something special as it is a big one...50! Yes, he'll kill me for that one. But shoot, when you have a 19yo daughter, someone is bound to figure out the age thing at some point. LOL. He did take off. Not sure what we'll do since 6 kids will be home. Can't really take them anywhere. Plus, Bojan turns 13 tomorrow. So, to 'big' events tomorrow. Got to find that camera. Bojan said he just wants to go out to dinner. He hasn't told us where yet. I'm really shocked he didn't want a party or anything. I was prepared for a party type thing. We'll see.

Friday the kids start their homeschool classes at a private academy. Very excited about it. It's very close by and they are going to be doing some exciting things. Nik will take Munchie Math and also a bug class. Reni will take a Munchie Math & also a dance class...I think. Alyona will take crocheting and a gardening class. She was signed up for Victorian times but something happened to the class. I think she'll love her classes though. Alex and Logan are signed up for Gizmos & Gadgets(they build things) and stop motion film making. Great supplement for homeschool classes. They will also start back up in January w/ classes at church. Not sure when they start back up. They've taken science club, cooking, ASL and jump rope clubs. Just on Wednesday nights but they learn a bunch. We are taking a break from winter sports for adjustments as a family. Soccer starts back up in March. Warren and I will be going to a few local museums in Jan. and Feb. Also, since weather is mild, visit the farm and go on one last hike till spring. Not get lost this time and most likely a much shorter hike or there may be mutiny.

Keeping busy. Got to go on my walk this evening. 1.5 miles. I know, not much but we all have to start somewhere. Still excited. Training for a 5K will be an experience for sure. My goal is if I can do this, next fall, I'll workup to a 10K. Time will tell. Right now, it's just getting up and moving forward. That starts w/ a walk. Next week, I will be starting to run part of these walks. Got to go. Getting dark. There are no excuses. I go either way...dark or not dark. More to come. I still have a bunch of half written posts. Need to walk first though, make dinner and get through bath/ bed time. And, picking a piece of the house to organize each night. My walk in closet is now a walk in closet again. Progress. Just need to keep up the momentum.

Christmas at Nana & Papa's

2012-01-03T18:06:00.000-05:00

Time to finish up Christmas posts. Wednesday after Christmas we went to Warren's parents house to celebrate with them. Kids were ready to go.

Just finished yelling at the 3 girls here, can you tell? They were hitting each other, screaming, etc. I threatened no presents. They were rethinking their actions and Alyona even hid under her jacket.

Made it in one piece! Reni, Summer, Nik and Alex ready to open presents.

Logan and Yana waiting on lunch to be served.

Alex, on the verge of meltdown mode. He held it together until the very end when we were leaving. He broke down in tears poor kid. It was just WAY too much stimulation accumulated over the last few days and he just couldn't handle any more.

Summer, wiping off dessert of some sorts.

Irina getting ready to open her birthday bag.

Alyona, enjoying the bow that Irina let her have. Irina has quite a pile to enjoy. She received some great bath items for her birthday and a storage box. A really nice one to put all kinds of items in.

Some of the kids waiting to open their gifts. They have to wait till everyone gets their gifts.

Summer is so excited and it shows. They're getting closer to opening them.

Bojan is not the happiest camper in this shot but Logan sure was. Look at that smile. He is ready to see what's inside.

The girls are so ready to show off their new outfits. Fleece. My girls loft really soft things.

Can you spot the sensory overloaded one? Or, the one where noise is starting to get to him? I give them credit though, they held it together the whole time. We can go places with our kids but we always make sure we don't stay too long.

Everyone checking out their new clothes. Boys got fleece pullovers which have come in very handy in this area. Older girls got nice sweaters. Reni and Alyona got an outfit and Summer received a fleece jacket that is definitely her style.

Everyone trying things one. Kids couldn't wait to change.

I think Max had a bit too much to eat. He's about to pass out. LOL. Nik is showing off his jacket. While twirling his hair. A new habit he picked up for whatever reason.

Reni, very pleased with her new clothes that are just hers. When orphanage kids first get home, they long for items that are "just theirs."

Here's my cutie patootie. Summer riding a toy.

Max, tossing the football around w/ his brothers. We take some outdoor toys w/ us as my kids need lots of activities and are kids that spend a great deal of time outdoors. Keeping them in for a given length of time is asking for trouble.

Reni, sporting her new outfit while riding the scooter.

Yana vegging out while Logan sweeps. Not sure why he grabbed the broom and started sweeping.

The visit was very pleasant and low key which was great. Kids had plenty of food and goodies to munch on. They love her homemade vegetable soup. She gave us some to take home. Only lasted a day. Told you they love it. New kids were funny as they're trying to decide the relationships of who's who. Kids loved visiting Nana's art studio and as always, are impressed. They know their mom is artistically impaired. Shoot, I can't even manage scrapbooking. LOL. They do know their daddy inherited some of their mom's talent. Warren is quiet about it but is also a very good artist. Just wanted to share our Christmas visit. We came home and tried to return everyone back to normal before school started. But, with New Years Eve, everyone became a little more off kilter. We're finally starting to get back on track. See, with my FASers, it usually takes about two weeks for them to get back to "normal" once normal activities are thrown out of whack. This happens w/ long breaks such as Christmas, Easter and Summer vacation. You just go with the flow though.

More to come. It's cold outside today. And, Alex and I are starting our training today. Yes, we've decided to run a 5K. No one get excited yet. We started w/ walking today. Someone sent me a link to a great site on how to train for novices. So, we're walking it. Plan on running part of it next week. My beta blockers better go into over drive. LOL. I ran about a 1/10th of a mile today. Yeh, I know, a joke. Just wanted to see how it felt. If it felt like it used to or if I thought I would die. Nope, didn't die as you can see. And, felt good. I have a bum knee and supposed to go in for steroid shots about every six months. I don't. I want to try to do this without the shots. If I can, I will. If I can't, back to sports med for the shots, no biggie. With my history and knowledge though, I'm more than capable to wrap the knee when I start to run. Time will tell. And, it's cold enough out that Alex is okay and won't pass out. Hey, between the two of us we may need a medic to run this 5K. Just kidding. I know when I do this, it will be a huge turning point for me. I'm already excited about it. And, it's only day two. I've been doing light weightlifting morning & night. And stretching. And, drinking water. Okay, so yesterday I had chocolate milk. Can't go cold turkey. More to come on all this on Friday. Just had to share b/c I'm excited. I know it won't mean much to many but means something to me. Plus, since Alex is one of my only athletes in the bunch, I think it will be great to train with him. BTW, his nickname is Dash (from the Incredibles) you know.

New Years

2012-01-02T17:59:00.000-05:00

Oh, we were so tired by New Years that we honestly did nothing. Had no desire to either. Alyona and Reni had a great time. Wasn't sure Reni would make it. She's still petrified of dogs other than our own. And these were NOT big dogs and they didn't even jump on you. She'll get there. She made it though and had such an awesome time w/ a bunch of other little girls her age. Still made sure we were picking her and Alyona up though. Yes, she's bonded. But, at her age, we need a little more independence to emerge as well. this is a great start. Rest of us, well, we stayed home. Older girls had someone stay over. None of us were enthusiastic to welcome in the New Year. Had some burgers on the grill and such. It was good.

Yes, this is pretty much what we did. Eat chips and lounge around. Lazy New Year. We didn't even light the sparklers. We all vegged out, watched a movie and ate chips. Oh well, maybe next year we'll be more motivated to party. Yes, hate to admit it but we were really lame this year. Hope your New Year was more eventful. Have to say though, we liked the quiet little event we had.

Let's get real

2012-01-02T17:45:00.000-05:00

I am going to be blatantly honest in this post. Just a forewarning folks. This is the part that most people doing an adoption don't really like to discuss. Finances. I'm going to lay it all out there. Adoption is expensive. I don't care what people say, it is. And yes, you can have all the faith in the world but you still best have a back up plan. It's not that families can not afford to raise the child. I want to clear that up right off the bat b/c I can't stand it when people do that. "Well, if you can't afford the adoption, you can't afford to raise the child." NOT TRUE!!! Point being is majority of us do not have a spare $30,000 to $40,000 in the bank. Granted most of us have retirement accounts but if they're like ours, you can't borrow but so much out of it b/c it is company money. So, back to the issue at hand. How in the world do you fund an adoption?

Many answers to that one. Some people apply for grants. We had received 2 grants w/ Alyona and Nik's adoption. This adoption, the sibs already came with a grant so that helped. Still adoption out of pocket was around $26K for all three kids. Had there not been a grant, $36K. All things considered, that is not too bad in the adoption world for 3 kids. So we spent a little over $8K on each child. That is not something you have laying around the bank. I am going to tell you all what we have done for all our kids and how we were able to get them all home. I know sometimes, this helps other families in process.

First adoption of Irina and Max, both of us worked, economy was great & we knew we could make it work, just had to borrow the $20K we needed for them. So, took out a home equity loan. With today's market, you can't do that nowadays. But, back in 1999, it was doable. In addition, we both worked and both companies had a $5K reimbursement PER child. So, Max and Irina's adoption was covered for the most part once we arrived home.

Next, we had Yana and Alex. To date, theirs was still the most expensive adoption we'd ever done. So expensive. And honestly we put most of everything on a credit card. We had no choice back then. We did also borrow from retirement. You can get no interest adoption loans sometimes as well. We knew we had a reimbursement coming and tax time so that helped w/ most of their expenses. However, we paid down stuff for YEARS. YEARS.

Bojan, we actually borrowed from a loan we were using for the house. In other words, much of the remodel stuff had to wait. Bojan had to get home first. And that was okay. You do what you have to to get them home first and worry about details later.

Alyona and Nik we did a little more borrowing and used quite a bit of tax money. No, that does NOT nearly pay for it all but helps for sure. Also, this is the first adoption we ever applied for grants. We received two at the time. One for $6K I believe and the other for $2K. Can't remember if that was the # or not. Just know we were paying on them for years as well. It was tight. Not going to lie to you. It's hard.

We had no idea how in the world we'd pay for this last set of adoptions. We could not borrow in places like we did before and pay back. That's not an option in today's economy. Many in the adoption world are doing fundraisers. We hated the thought of it but did manage to do a couple of fundraisers. It's hard b/c it is chipping away and takes time. I took on a part time job babysitting. I still had the mindset we could for the most part do it on our own. No, needed a village. Many stepped forth to help which was amazing to witness. A couple thousand came in from donations/ fundraisers. I'm guessing around $2K to $3K total. Now, you're thinking that does not nearly pay for the trip. No, it doesn't. However,once you commit to a child, it is your responsibility to get them home. With the economy, can't borrow from the house, or retirement. So, you are left with credit cards. That is exactly what we did. Hated it w/ a passion but we had no choice left. No magic money was going to be flowing in last minute and we knew that.

So, we still have roughly $8K to pay off now. Normally, that wouldn't seem too bad. However, Warren needs $8K worth of dental work, we need an $8K roof, we need diapers(unexpected), we have insurance that just went up, Warren's car needs repair, and the list could go on. This is life. Just the way it is. Having the whole CPS debacle though ended up costing us around $5K. That money would have been helpful right about now. Some would say, oh but you'd be better off just leaving those kids behind, or why didn't you adopt just one. Really, would they really have been better off dead....any of them? Seriously, the fate of the majority of my kids was mental institution or life on the streets. That is a fact. So no, I don't think they were better off left behind and us having a car that worked better. No, we don't live the high life. That I know. However, I think we're doing just fine. Kids are healthy, happy and well adjusted. No one is extremely sick. House is still standing. Kids get to do activities and go places. And, you know what they say...God will provide. And He has. We have medical needs met, vision and dental needs met. We have food on the table. We're healthy. We have a job. Yes, we have a lot of expenses coming up this year. However, those would have happened whether we would have brought the kids home or not.

All I can say is when you commit to a child, you need to be aware of the expenses. Follow your heart and gut but also have a plan if possible. Ours was a last resort plan...credit cards. And, we had to use them. Now, working to pay it down along w/ paying for other expenses. Are they worth it? Without a doubt! Every single one of them. Would I do it again? Without a doubt! It was the only way to get all of them home safe and sound. They are our children. I know people in America still paying on their bio baby's expenses...five years later. So, this I feel is no different. You do what you need to for your children. Do I wish I didn't have the extra expenses? Yes. As they say though, this too shall pass.

How was that for an open and honest post? LOL. I understand why many want to be "fully funded." That would have been fantastic. However, it just wasn't possible for us. So, I took on a job babysitting to help fund our adoption. I sold everything that wasn't being used. I budgeted like crazy. And now, we have three more kids home. A family complete. It is hard work but worth it in the end. The kids are not wanting for anything either. I know many who say I could never do this. Yes, you can. You can find a way. Many who say this have a $30/$40K car sitting in the driveway. Yes, the economy sucks. But there are literally thousands waiting for a family. And I guarantee you they wouldn't care if you sold your car and got a clunker if it meant them coming home to your family. We have our "limousine." Our Bulgarian kids call our van a limousine. LOL. Right now, they don't care what kind of car they have, if they have brand name clothes, or what else. They have food, family and love. For all of us, that is enough. So, if you say you can't afford an adoption right now, please rethink or reconsider. I am not advocating going broke for you do have to be able to provide for them. I'm just saying think of taking on a second job for a bit, cutting back, budgeting, etc. Trust me, they will appreciate the effort. Yes, adoption is expensive. But I know many a families who spent more on their bio kids that had complications at birth. Only issue us adoptive families have is insurance won't pay for an adoption. I always tell my kids we must really have wanted you. My older kids have seen the process. They offer to have bake sales, yard sales, etc. Some come to me & will say "mom, I don't need this any more. We can sell it to help get the kids home." I never let them. I know it is their choice but I don't want my kids to sacrifice to get their sibs home. Warren and I will sacrifice but we feel our kids should not. And that's just the way we've always felt. However, if they bring up helping get their sibs home, I let them have a bake sale or ice cream sale. So, it is a great life lesson too. Our kids at home see just how much time, money & love is poured into getting them home. Some have remarked "wow, you did that for me too?" Yes, yes we did. Thanks mom.

I know this was a very open post about money. No one likes to talk about this part of adoption but it is the very core at why many shy away from the idea of adopting. I know we almost did! First time we went to a seminar by Frank Adoption Center back in '98 and heard it would be between $20K and $30K to adopt, I wanted to cry. I did. I turned to Warren and said "we can't afford to do this." But here we are 10 kids later. Where would these ten be now if we hadn't taken that leap of faith & looked for other ways to pay for the adoption? Take a chance. I always tell people it's not kids that cost you money, it's the lifestyle. To an extent, that is true. I will stop here. I've already written too much. Hope it wasn't offensive. I'm not saying any one way is better than another. We've taken on additional jobs, fundraised, sold stuff, gotten grants, budgeted, etc. We've practically done it all over the last 12 years to get all of them home. Just the way it is. Just wanted to share what we've done. Might give others some ideas of what they can do. Good luck to all. Focus on the kids, not the money but do have a back up plan.

Manic Monday

2012-01-02T17:01:00.000-05:00

First Manic Monday of 2012. Can't believe the New Year is already here. Went by too fast yet in many ways, not fast enough. Thought I'd get back to things.

Today we have dentist appointments for 5 of the kids. 3 new ones so interesting to see how their teeth will fair. All my Russian kids had horrible, horrible teeth when they first got home. Brown, rotted, etc. The Bulgarian kids seem to have healthy teeth but we'll see once we get home today. My other 5 have had no cavities this past visit.

Medical stuff. Well, Reni's chest x-ray for TB came back negative as we expected it would. Reni and Summer's blood work is all clear. That I was not expecting to be honest. See, Summer doesn't seem to heal well. She still has some bug bites from this Summer. And, when she fell here weeks ago, she still has the bruise on her back. Takes her forever to heal. Asked her pediatrician but she said she thinks it's from lack of nutrition and it can take months to get better. So, waiting it out. I will double check w/ the neuro when we go back on the 10th. Never hurts to get another opinion. Waiting for ortho to call back for Alyona and Bojan. Bojan will need another surgery this year on his clubfoot. Alyona may or may not need some on her arm. Remember, the botched surgery job years ago? We'll see. She's complaining more about it. Alex's bloodwork from endocrine came back normal. They're sending us back to neuro. Waiting to hear what neuro wants to do from here as endo thinks it may be some type of brain disorder. I'm not so sure about that one. Again, waiting to see if neuro thinks we should proceed w/ an MRI. I think this year we will have paid for one of their machines by now. We get Logan & Summer's MRI results on the 10th. Looking like Logan remembers having a seizure in Bulgaria. He told us last night about it. Like I said, they're talking more. If he does have epilepsy, no biggie. The meds are working.

School. Starting full force today. High schoolers only go this week & 2 days next week. Then, they're off 2 weeks. URGHH!!! Got to love it. Voc. rehab is working w/ Irina. Having an IEP meeting some time in January. Not sure when. Got to get an IEP meeting for Alyona. I'm sending her to middle school next year IF she can get into the autistic class. No, she's NOT autistic and I know that. However, the method in there is great and so is the teacher from what I hear. The "home base" school we are assigned to wants to put Alyona in a Life Skills class. NO. She is more than capable to do other things. It will be an uphill fight this meeting as a friend of mine just went through the same fight earlier this year. Least I know what I'm up against. If it doesn't work out, we'll just keep her home again. But, if we do get to move, this won't be an issue anyhow. We'll see.

Driving. New driving laws here now again. Lovely. They have to log in 60 hours and I'm not even sure how this all works yet. Got to figure it out. Irina wants to take the test again. Yana is going to take driver's ed this semester.

Adoption stuff. Got the new kids their social security #'s so we're good with that. Need to find out when the next PPR is due. I"ve asked so I know I'll have a response very soon. Want to make sure I don't miss anything. Next thing is finding an accountant. Our taxes will be complicated this year for sure. We've always done our own taxes even w/ adoption stuff. However, we feel it best and safer this year to have a professional take care of it. We get semi- audited every year by our state anyway. They do it to all big families. You have to prove the kids are yours. So for us, that means adoption decrees, birth certs and the like. Pain but we've got it down pat now. Expecting the same for this year.

House. Still plan on selling. Doing little stuff here and there to fix it up. Can't wait. We're ready to do this but that doesn't necessarily mean it's going to happen w/ this market. We'll have to sell at a loss and we are well aware of that fact. Hoping it works out though. Last home was purchased at a loss so why should this one be any different. LOL.

Okay, started this earlier. Kids did great at the dentist. No cavities for any of the five. That means we've had 10 kids go to the dentist w/in the last month and not a one of them had cavities. Wahoo!!! Reni and Logan will go back in for sealants in April. Reni was a little skittish but did fine. they were well aware of her past trauma so were extra careful. She did beautifully. Told you they came from a great orphanage...teeth were well taken care of unlike my Russian kiddos. Logan has a lot of staining on his but they used to give him coffee...URGHH, so that is to be expected. They are really going to work on cleaning that up more in April she said. He has a natural line that she said occurred when his teeth were forming at birth. Nothing you can do about it and she said not an issue. He only has one more baby tooth to lose. All in all, fantastic visit. Love that they let me do 5 at a time each time.

School. Started back today, including homeschool. Homeschoolers start their classes at the private school on Fridays. Can't wait. On Wednesdays, they'll have church clubs again. Starts again in January. Lots of learning going on. Going to be doing some museum field trips on the weekends and some hikes in January. It is such mild weather that no big deal. Want to get field trips in before we start soccer season again in the spring.

Much more to come. We've had a busy past week. Calling my friend and seeing when we can go visit the farm. She's invited us & we must find a good weekend. We'll be going more places now that the holidays are over and the kids are well adjusted. Lots of plans in the works. Lots of plans. We plan on going to the Bulgarian Reunion this summer. We can't make the Orenburg Reunion this year though. And, my cousin and I are host to a family reunion here. Our summer may be filled w/ lots of travel and that is okay by us. We want the kids all to experience some more things in life. This is the first year we are not planning another adoption any time soon. Frankly, we're supposed to be done adopting and like 85% positive we are finished. However, we have both said this adamantly before over and over so I plan not to open my mouth and just leave my mind open. LOL. Seriously though, pretty positive we are done and going to enjoy the family we have & wait for grand kids. In a few posts I'll be sharing more about some advocating for a few special kiddos. Can't wait. Warren's cooking shrimp and veggies so need to help cut some up. Happy New Year! Hope you had a great one.

Sibs

2012-01-01T15:43:00.000-05:00

We obviously have quite a few siblings in this house and some of them have very close bonds. Bojan and Max are very close. Max is also close to Summer. Yana and Reni have a close bond. Alyona and Reni also have a close bond. Nik and Logan are close. That relationship actually surprised me the most I think. Alex and Logan are close. Irina and Summer are close. All of them interact w/ each other just that some siblings are closer than others. Irina and Yana used to be inseparable but over the years have gotten a little further apart. This we actually anticipated simply due to cognitive abilities and things of that nature. Thought I'd share a few sibling bonds.

Reni and Yana goofing around at Nana's house.

Who can forget our four-legged sibs from the same litter. Kota and Alaska.

Nik and Reni. These are my two 9 yo siblings. Alike in many ways.

My youngest and my oldest. These two are very close. Very happy together as you can clearly see.

Max is really great about letting annoying brothers mess w/ him.

Reni is standing on Max's legs while he does push ups. The kids thought this was hilarious. He let Reni, Logan, Nik and Summer take turns on him.

Siblings in this house are pretty good to one another...most the time. Let's not lose sight of the fact that they are siblings and they will indeed fight too. Battle scars to prove it. LOL. But, for the most part, not too bad w/ one another. Sibling bonds are something. And you know what, only 2 in this house are bio sibs. And those two are not the ones w/ the closest bond! So, for those wondering if new sibs will ever bond w/ those already in the house, hope I put your mind at ease a bit.

Talent... this time, Warren's mom

2011-12-31T23:09:00.000-05:00

Warren's parents live in NC as well and only about two hours away. Warren's mom is super duper talented. I know I've never mentioned it before but felt it was about time. Her name is Pat and she is an artist. And a dog gone good one at that! She teachers art classes and also sells various art work. Beautiful pieces to be sure. I thought it was time I share some of the. She is very, very modest about her artwork but I believe more need to see it. Just is peaceful to look at. Many nature scenes. She has her own studio. My kids are fortunate enough to get to go there when they stay with them and they get to do various pieces of art. Hope you enjoy them as much as we do. The new kids were in awe.

Okay, forgive the very poor picture quality and I'm sure you'll see reflections in a bunch of these pictures. I was just snapping. This is part of a painting. Look at that deer in the snow. Beautiful.

Some more pictures. Many of these are scenes from local areas.

Birds. Definitely nothing I could draw.

She has such a variety of talent. That clay sculpture to the side is one she was working on as well. The picture at the bottom is actually a mirror that is painted on. It's gorgeous but is currently reflecting the back wall.

Just another peaceful feeling scene to me. You can just picture the quiet, can't you?

Some more paintings. This by the way, is only a very, very small portion.

Okay, this is MY absolute favorite piece in the whole place. I know it is unfinished at the moment. She's not done w/ it. However, you can clearly see the beauty of what it will be once finished. Imagine it lit up w/ lights behind it.

She told me the white bird is not done and I'm guessing won't be white as it is a cardinal....our state bird.

Just look at the detail and the time that went into this piece. I can't even paint by numbers but she produces these type of pieces all the time. Still in awe.

Another painting. Campfire by the lake. I can picture myself there. I think that is one of the beauty of these different paintings...you can visualize yourself in complete peace with nature. Or, at least I can.

Summer, admiring one of her Nana's pieces of artwork. Reni and Logan kept asking if she painted them. We kept having to tell them every single one in here.

Just couldn't go on without sharing her artwork. I think it is amazing. It's very beautiful to me and it is an honor knowing someone with that much talent. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Sorry I can't do the pieces justice w/ my limited photography skills. Trust me, in person you'd be stunned.

Darts, dear friend and drama

2011-12-31T22:39:00.000-05:00

Well, it's New Year's Eve. Alyona and Reni are spending the night at a friend's house. The teen girls have someone staying here. All are watching a movie. I'm up here catching up on emails and posts. Hoping tomorrow we can finally stay home and go nowhere. Would be nice to catch up on some lingering house stuff. We are diligently organizing and reorganizing in order to sell. Crazy. Even though it will be an "as is" sale, you still have to be 'show ready.' 12 people, 3 dogs, equals nowhere near show ready. Not a bit! Hey, giving it a shot, that's for sure. Time for some more pictures.

Warren, getting ready. For what?

Look at the top of his head. Yes, the kids were taking turns shooting nerf darts at Warren's head. I still can not believe he let them do this.

Over the years, I've met some dear friends online. The other day a wonderful surprise came in the mail very unexpectedly. Kids tore open the box. Inside were all kinds of goodies. If you'll notice, there is some LA flare. This family is from LA. A lady in the process of a Bulgarian adoption. She cared enough to send our family, she'd never met in person mind you, a Christmas box. Everything from socks to some creole seasoning. So neat. We have really enjoyed the various goodies. And believe it or not, there's still some left! Thank you Janah!

Summer, enjoying some of the LA Mardi Gras beads. My teens had no idea what they're for. LOL.

What would a dinner be without some drama in our house. This shot caught Alyona just finishing up slapping Irina on the head. Nice, I know.

Alyona, not wanting to be seen now.

Ahh, maybe just a bit. Face was all red.

Nik and Reni wanting to get in on the action w/ their cameras. Notice the nice piece of orange in Reni's mouth? This was a dinner gone bad. Well, not really as 11 out of 12 were laughing. And, before you jump on things, let me explain a bit more. We have some drama kings and queens here for sure. Something little will be totally blown out of proportion and this is what happened here w/ Alyona. It just became absolutely ridiculous. And, the thing was you could get Alyona to stop crying and start laughing on cue! So, these were real, but fake tears at the same time if you know what I mean. She could turn them on and off. So, we just all decided to make it funny versus playing into the drama. It ended fairly quickly after she realized we weren't playing into the 'show.' Now, if this were more "real," obviously there would be no pictures and we'd tend to the issue at hand. But this was one of those just stupid, stupid scenes that kept growing. By the end, all of us were laughing including the one crying. At first, Reni was so concerned about Alyona. Shortly, she knew this was not "real." She was not hurt or distraught. She just wanted attention. Even though she doesn't speak English yet, Reni got right in there and started teasing her sister. I ended that one quickly though. Though we're all playing around, kids know certain rules still apply.

I shared b/c I know some of you other parents must have some drama in your house as well. This is a whole lot better than when they pretend they're hurt. In our house, that is Logan through and through. They all eventually learn the drama doesn't get you the attention you seek. Part of it is an orphanage learned behavior. The louder or more dramatic you were, the more attention you received. They have to slowly unlearn this over time. And yes, some of ours from years back are still learning. Kids.

Bojan's Band Concert

2011-12-31T19:50:00.000-05:00

So, going through some old pictures and can't believe we forgot to post about this as it was important to Bojan. Bojan is in band for the first time this year and learning to play the trumpet. For those that don't know, Bojan is not just missing his leg. He's missing a finger as well. In addition, he has many shortened digits and such. So, we weren't even sure which instrument he'd be able to play. Well, looks like trumpet suits him just fine. We weren't home long from Bulgaria when we went to his concert. Thought I'd share a few shots from it. Hope you enjoy it as much as we did. He really is learning and growing in his playing. Neat to watch.

My handsome young man before his concert. His first concert. Sorry about the skeletons on the tree. Hey, there's a tree there and that was a huge accomplishment for just getting home w/ three new kids.

Since Bojan got a picture taken, Summer wanted one in her dress.

Happy little girl. This was before her hair cut. She is another girlie girl of mine.

Killing time waiting for the concert to start, Nik decides to start braiding Yana's hair. Many of my boys know how to braid since they have quite a few sisters.

Bojan, walking out. He's the one in the suit. Many of the other boys in his class took theirs off. Don't blame them, too hot. But, I think Bojan looks sharp!

Bojan in action playing the trumpet.

Bojan, waiting for instructions from the director.

The whole 6th grade band playing together. It's fun b/c I remember those days when I was younger. See, Warren played the trumpet and I played the flute/ piccolo all the way through my first year of college. Bojan is our only musician in the bunch thus far. Nice to see someone else w/ an interest in music.

And, the family coming home. Certain events, we ALL try to go to if we feel it's important to one child. We don't make them come to all events but the more significant ones, yes. I think it is good they support one another.

More to come. But, it's New Year's Eve and Warren just brought the burgers in!

Blessings abound

2011-12-30T23:26:00.000-05:00

This Christmas Season was one blessing after another. Now, some might not consider them a big deal but I do. Just shows you the kindness out there. So, thought I'd share a few in pictures.

All that candy is not for Nik. This gift was sent to us from the kids' Upwards Soccer coach. Coach Chris! It was such an unexpected and sweet, sweet surprise. We really enjoyed it. It did not last long in this house. And yes, that is my luggage from the Bulgaria trip in the background. We are just slow some times. Well, more like sidetracked. Can't imagine why.

When we went to go get our order back in place w/ the local farmer, he wished us a Merry Christmas and gave us a bunch of goodies. Candy, fruit, and nuts. We really enjoyed this one! So lucky we got strawberries for breakfast to go w/ our pancakes. Thank you Gary.

One of our neighbors dropped off two boxes. Kids lit up when they opened them. There were 10 light up balls in one box.

And a huge pile of candy in the other box. These are the same kind neighbors that gave us our Thanksgiving turkey. Martha and Rob are great neighbors. We are very fortunate to have them in our community.

Poprocks never go out of style. Faces are priceless.

Nik's face w/ the pop rocks. Sorry so blurry.

One of Max's friends even brought us an entire box of candy. I told you we have nice young men living here. Just was very thoughtful of him to think of all of us.

Here is another one of my girls' friends. We have known her for years and she was for the past few years always called our "8th child." We obviously had to rename her recently to our "11th child." She is not taking to the name well as she was here first. LOL. Seriously though, we love her. Just a great young lady. She lives right down the street. Well, she even brought me something for Christmas to open.

What else would it be but chocolate. I was mean, I did not share. I kid you not. Kids had piles of candy and chocolate. These were mine. LOL.

It was just really nice to find surprises on our doorstep from the mailman or things a neighbor left. There was even one box full of oranges, apples and grapefruit on our doorstep when we came home from the Christmas Parade. Was very nice and a reminder of the generosity and kindness in people. It was especially fun teaching the kids that you don't have to know where everything comes from. They agreed one day we should surprise someone as well. Thanks to everyone who was so generous this Christmas season and for all the wonderful surprises. It meant a lot to us. Also taught us a lot which was fantastic.

Christmas Eve suprise

2011-12-30T22:54:00.000-05:00

Well, the other day on Christmas Eve we received a surprise phone call. The phone call was from Santa!

The kids were just a tad excited. At first, Alex did not believe it was Santa. Alex assumed it was Dad.

Alex really changed his mind when I told him to look in the kitchen. He saw dad standing there...with no phone. Alex was saying "it really is Santa!" The kids talked forever here. I'm not quite sure why Alex's eyes are so dilated. This typically only happens during RAD rages or meltdowns. Was weird seeing them this way in a normal emotional response. So, who was behind the Santa calls?

Maxwell! He had SO much fun doing this w/ them. It was great.

Alaska, waiting patiently for Santa to put things in her stocking. BTW, stupid dog kept chewing the lights. So, they didn't work on the bottom part of the tree.

It really was neat to see the looks on their faces while they were talking to Santa. Even Reni and Logan knew who it was. They were all so giddy afterwards. Gee, should have done this before dinner. Might have been a more peaceful dinner. Oh well, next year.

Warren has to do some more work here this evening. So, hoping to get a blog post or two up. He got home at 10pm this evening. Poor guy. This was his day off. And yes, working tomorrow as well. Hope this doesn't happen next week. It's his birthday. He and Bojan share the same birthday. I want to do something special but revenge is bittersweet. See, my b-day is shortly after his. So whatever I would even conger up, he'd do it ten times worse to me. LOL. Bojan is turning 13yo and Warren is turning 50. Lots of big celebrations. Bojan has yet to tell me what he wants to do for his birthday or even what he wants. Nothing like last minute kiddo. For those wondering, I'm finally catching up on a few emails too. Wahoo!!! Getting organized is one of my resolutions. I'm off to a grand start. Under the bathroom cabinets. In the closet, etc. I was on a roll today. How long before they mess it up?

Summer's birthday gift

2011-12-30T14:14:00.000-05:00

Trying to catch up on some posts today so may be quite a few going up. The 19th was Summer's 5th birthday. First one celebrated in America. My mom sent her a present. So, it was time for her to open it.

Summer, opening her box of goodies.

Kota is just as interested in what she got. Summer received some leggings, a skirt, a shirt, and a jacket. Just this fashionita's style.

Summer inspecting her new jacket. Loved the trim on it.

Jacket was a huge hit w/ Summer & it's all she wears now. She looks really cute in her outfit too.

Don't know who snapped this shot w/ my mouth wide open. Oh well. I was zipping up her jacket for her. She was so happy and lots of smiles. Thanks mom for the cute outfit and jacket. Summer loves it and already has gotten a lot of use out of it.

More to come. Warren is at work today. Yes, it's his day off. Got to love IT. He's not sure when he's coming home. What he's trying to fix is not working a bit. Translation: he'll be there forever and a day. Max & Yana have a party this evening to attend but thankfully, in the neighborhood. I'm severely night blind so no driving for me at night. Rest of us are just kind of vegging out today. We did some serious cleaning earlier and will do more tomorrow. Was hoping to go to Sam's today but that's not happening. Warren and I go there together as it is much faster than one of us going w/ the kids in tow. Plus, they'd rather stay home than grocery shop. Made our own dog chewies today. Umm, not doing that again. The homemade dog treats did turn out though so making those each week for sure. Dogs ate them and that's all that counts. So, store bought dog chewies yes, but homemade dog treats. Hey, you do what works. Next, we're working on making our own cleaning products. Used to make my own soap so know we can do that. Going to attempt to make our own window cleaner, floor cleaner, laundry detergent and all purpose cleaner this weekend. If it work, wonderful. If not, not a lot out of our pocket. Trying to still cut costs here and there b/c as of January, our insurance goes up. Plus, the kids are finding it interesting trying to make our own items here and there. So, if some of it works, we'll let you know. There are tons of recipes on line for various things. It's all trial and error and best to try when we're all at home and on a break. More to come.

Potty training a 5yo???

2011-12-30T13:50:00.000-05:00

Coming here to ask for advice. I have potty trained toddlers before. This is different. A little background info. Summer was said to be potty trained at the orphanage. I asked. I was curious b/c not only she wore diapers at 4yo but so did her roommates at the orphanage. That's why I was wondering. Summer is now 5yo, turned 5 last week. However, emotionally she is more like 2yo. She is delayed but mostly PI delays from what I can gather thus far. Yet, some things she may be more delayed in. Still figuring her out. She is said to be missing her corpus callosum in her brain. That can also cause some delays. Waiting on MRI results on Jan. 10th. She had it done a long time ago. Hate waiting. Anyhow, we are seeing what those results show as well. May give us some insight.

Summer is a very happy little girl. Yet, cries at the drop of a hat. Like I said, emotionally very, very immature. Back to potty training. We tried to get her to go on the potty in Bulgaria since they said she was trained. No part of it. She wanted no part of it whatsoever! She does not care whatsoever if she is wet or dirty in her diaper. Not one single bit. She won't tell you if she's wet or dirty. She'd sit in it all day if you'd let her. We don't but she would. We have tried many, many tactics. Typical things you would try. We're at a loss. After many, many, ruined pairs of underwear, we have let it go for now and back in diapers/ pull ups. We have tried to cheer her own like crazy when she's on the toilet, we have tried the training potty, we have tried underwear over the pull-ups. Anything and everything. Nothing is working. She has NO interest or desire in potty training. She is 5yo now. Truly, I didn't think this would be an issue.

So, I'm asking for suggestions that other parents of developmentally delayed kids have tried. Is she just not at the point where I should try yet. Maybe too much for her brain to process at the moment? Not sure. Suggestions or ideas are very welcomed. Like I said, we've done this potty training thing before. Just this seems to be a whole lot different w/ Summer and can't pinpoint why right now. She's seen her sisters w/ underwear on. We've made a BIG deal about the whole underwear thing. Just not working. Thanks in advance. This is what she does w/ the training potty:

She uses it as a stool. Which is fine b/c we've really been working w/ her on the big potty instead. She has peed on the big toilet before. So, I know she can do it. However, it was not b/c she told us she had to go or anything like that. Just ready to be out of diapers. Can't wait to hear what you all have to say.

Nik-- ADHD/ FASD time to talk

2011-12-29T23:32:00.000-05:00

Going to be honest here so watch out. Up till now, we have concentrated solely on Nik's deafness and how to help him with that. How can he reach his fullest potential by the resources we give him? Does he even want to? Does he want to speak? Does he want to sign? As of late, we've notice he's been lazy lately. He's also been like a squirrel on speed. Okay, so I knew day one he had ADHD. It's really a no brainer. I mean, I have 3 other kids with it, it's not like I don't know what it is or what to look for. I also have 5 other kids w/ FASD. I knew from the get go Nik has FASD. Again, no brainer. However, we were so focused on his deafness and language, that we failed to address either the FASD or the ADHD. It has become blatantly obvious over the last few weeks this needs to be addressed ASAP. no delaying any more. We just can't. Poor kid is suffering.

I feel a bit guilty. Knowing I should have addressed this earlier and not focused solely on his deafness for he is not only deaf. I knew this, I did. However, I also know some kids can be handled w/out medication. And, some even outgrow ADHD. Nik is not one of those kids. He will need pharmaceutical help and I'm okay with that. We have 3 children, well 4 if you count Logan but his is epilepsy, on meds. Nik desperately needs this. He is all over the place. Constantly in motion. Can't do his school work. Can't really focus but when he does focus, it is a hyper focus like the other night. He wanted Warren to fix his paper airplane but Warren was working w/ the older kids on something. In addition, it was way past Nik's bedtime. He just melted down. Couldn't let it go b/c he was so focused on the airplane. It was hard to watch. I've noticed a slight decline in him lately and it's NOT because the new ones are home. It's not. This was a little noticeable even before they got home.

I remember what Max told me when we put him on meds years ago. He didn't know they were meds btw. We told him they were vitamins b/c we wanted his input. Max said to me one day "Mom, am I going to take these forever?" I said why? Max said " because for the first time in my life I can think straight." He was 6yo I believe at the time. It was then I realized I should have started the meds sooner. Feel the same about Nik. Should have done this last year. Thought about it but guess I was being cautiously optimistic. This week things have become way too clear. Nik needs meds and needs them soon. And that's okay. It won't change who he is a bit but will hopefully allow him to lead a better life. Fewer frustrations, fewer meltdowns, fewer failures due to no focus, etc. He too will hopefully be able to think clearly as Max puts it. This will not fully help the ADHD or FASD. That I know all too well. I also know that if right meds are found though, it will allow him to be the best person he can be. And that is all I want for Nik. To be the best kid he can be. To not feel so eaten up inside. To not be so frustrated. To feel relief and feel like he can function.

I'm telling you all this b/c if you have a child w/ special needs and focus on one need, you're possibly not doing all you can for the child. Even though, like myself, you think you are. ALL our focus was on how to help Nik achieve w/ his deafness. Yet we can't fully do that until we also help him with his ADHD and FASD. So, that is our next step with Nik. Yes, we'll continue to help him with language but if you can't focus long enough to do the sight words or phonics, how can you help w/ language? Called our neuro but now they need a referral from the ped. Seriously? Can't you just trust the parent who's done this for 12 years now AND been seeing you for 11 years now?! Oh well.

Nik will flourish, that I have no doubt. I guess my guilt lies will he have flourished more or faster had I addressed this years ago? Should I have waited so long? I know you can't change it now. I"m over that. Just want to make sure I do right by Nik is all.

Christmas the aftermath (part 2)

2011-12-29T22:49:00.001-05:00

Yes, Christmas Day seemed to last forever at our house. Maybe it was the 5:48 wake up call that did it. Don't know. But, few more pictures of what we went through and then moving onto other topics for sure.

Max got all kinds of hot sauces for Christmas. He decided he should try them by drinking a little of them. I think the habenero got to him.

He couldn't get enough water.

Ahh, finally daylight! And what is my daughter doing? Messing w/ the sauces that Max just burned his mouth with.

Is that not the biggest whoopie cushion you've ever seen?! Alyona and Summer watching in amazement. Irina said after this she's never blowing that up again. It took quite some time. They busted the smaller self-inflating whoopie cushion they got.

What's with the serious face on Logan? LOL. And w/ a toy drum to boot. He holds the sticks and bangs on the drums as if he's played before. It appears he's played the drums. He told me he did in Bulgaria but not sure what capacity since he is so young. We'll find out once we have more English. Still, interesting for sure. See, even older kids have many mysteries inside. Did you know this kid break dances? Yes, he does. Kind of funny to watch. Now, Nik imitates him.

Alex taking a break w/ an apple. The day was getting to him. He holds it together for quite some time but then will meltdown after a bit. And this is why we always ask people to come to our house for Christmas. It's just hard on him.

And this is precisely why Max asked for a footlocker....to keep his younger sibs out.

We had turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, apple pie, etc. for Christmas Dinner. Which btw, Yana did not attend till later. URGHH!!! If you tell me you are going on a short walk, you best define the word 'short.' More on that situation later. Teens. God gives you these challenging years so that you appreciate it when they do leave the nest! That is not a real chocolate Santa by the stove in case you're wondering why it's not melting.

Alex's nickname at dinner is neanderthal man. Look at the size of the drumstick! What you don't see is the pile of turkey behind the drumstick too. This boy can eat. And in case you're wondering, our grocery bill is just about as much as the mortgage every single month. He is part of that reason. LOL.

Alex, Logan and Summer all plugged in. Well, Summer's just trying to listen.

Alyona and Logan listening to some tunes.

This just about sums up the day for you.

All in all, they didn't do too bad for all that Christmas stimulation. And a few things broke. Yana bricked her brand new tablet that took Warren 2 days to fix! Nik broke his player before he even got to use it. Alyona broke her mp-3 player. She left her headphones on the floor, someone stepped on them and she ~~plugged~~ jammed them back into the player. So broke it for good. Logan broke the gun by trying to yank it out of the package. They spilled slime downstairs, upstairs and in the pantry. Whoopie cushion broke. Many broken things but spirits were still up. And that's a good thing for them. We fix what we can as best as we can. Kids had a great Christmas though despite the mishaps. They really enjoyed all their gifts. Though tired, it was nice to see them so happy. However, there is fallout when you have FASD kiddos and too much happening. Attitudes these past few days have been almost unbearable. We're on the upswing so that's good. So much more to share. For now, Warren is trying to fix the computer that Max infected w/ a virus. A wicked one. Lovely. And yes, it had antivirus stuff and all that on it. See, Max did not load some of these things on his computer. Lessons learned. Lessons learned.

Warren has to go to work tomorrow. Bummer. Today we actually got the citizenship papers back to social security office. Was very quick. Love it. Summer has already gotten her card. Alex is spending the night w/ a friend this evening. Max works tomorrow. Max and Yana have a party to go to tomorrow evening. Alyona and Reni are spending the night at a party New Year's Eve. Tomorrow, we're all cleaning this dump or no one is going anywhere! Still looking like a demilitarized zone. More on Nik in a bit. Just wanted to finish up some of the Christmas posts. And nope, never did get those Christmas cards out. Still have yet to get the family portrait done either. My to do list is not getting to done. Hey, I figure I can start fresh next year right? Hope everyone has a wonderful and safe New Year's weekend.

Christmas, the aftermath

2011-12-29T21:53:00.000-05:00

After the opening of presents, it was time to put some things away, see what batteries were needed and things of that nature. Oh, and time for me to make the pancakes. You know, since I'm so wide awake at this point anyhow.

What do you know? More junk on my counters. Kids deciding what kind of batteries go in which item. I'm sure the diaper is on there waiting to be put on Summer. As you can see, no one is rushing to do the job.

A bunch of the kids' loot on the floor. Digby enjoying his peanut butter chewy from Santa. I caught 1/2 price before Christmas at Petsmart. Dogs were happy.

Nice counters, huh? Fruit that no one took out of the bags yet and toys everywhere you look Christmas Day.

Even Alaska knows it's stupid to be up this early. Poor dog's eyes are half way closed still.

First casualty of Christmas...the living room rug w/ that stupid farting slime.

Nik w/ his sock monkey hat and Max putting together Summer's tricycle. He is our resident handyman.

Alyona trying on Nik's hat. I think it's a tie w/ who's cutest in it.

I know what you're thinking. Your boys never seem to have shirts on and now your little girl has no pants on. Seriously, no idea why she took them off and in the midst of chaos on Christmas, you just don't ask. She literally rode this bike all day long around the house. Yes, while holding the Barbie head.

See, she can get dressed. This was an outfit my mom bought her for her birthday. She definitely approves. Poor Barbie.

More pics to come. Then lots of other things to say and talk about for sure. Next few days there will be tons of catching up on things.

Christmas Day Chaos (part 3)

2011-12-29T16:10:00.000-05:00

Short break from blogging yesterday as we were out of town visiting Warren's parents. More on that visit later. Trying to finish one thing up at a time. Went to Social Security office to take back the citizenship papers we finally received on Logan. His were late coming in and cards won't be right if they don't see the papers. Anyhow, took care of that and used a reward cert for Eddie Bauer since in the same exact area. Hey, can't pass up "free money." And, with after
Christmas deals, got a really nice blanket for us all to share on the couch. Warren is now at the dentist. Some of my kids are exploring the woods w/ neighbor kids, some are eating the pile of junk still left over, some are cleaning and some are just watching spongebob. I think there's 15 or so kids here today. Not sure. Don't count any more. As long as I have a visual and as long as they all help out, we're good. But, this is giving me a little time to catch up on organizing and also some blog posts. So, need to get back to Christmas Day.

Okay, Summer is just too dog gone slow when it comes to opening presents.

Then we have the opposite problem w/ speedy here. Reni, getting her mp-3 player. She LOVES music. Think there's enough wrapping paper here?

Yes, the one w/ OCD goes immediately to work when she's done w/ her stuff. IRina can't stand paper on the floor. And we have lost parts this way as well. URGHH!!!

Summer couldn't believe she got another bike! Though her favorite is the two wheeler. When we first came home, she couldn't figure out how to pedal. Now, she's a pro.

Alyona with her crocheting needles and some pearls.

This goes into the category of 'what in the world was I thinking?!' Farting slime. Yes, that wasn't a typo. The kids love this stupid stuff. Trouble is, it went all over the living room rug, loft area carpet, and the pantry. It then disappeared forever.

Just a few weeks ago in Sofia, this gift would NOT have been possible. It is a set for the bath tub. She was so excited that she wanted to go get her bath right then and there. It's foamy stuff.

Kids waiting to open some group gifts.

Opening up some group gifts.

More group gifts. Reni now understands if you say family it means we all share it. Took a little while for her to understand that concept...sharing.

Irina reading to everyone the note that Santa left. There is a message in there that Santa gave mom & dad some money to later buy a zip line. Trouble w/ that is Nik wanted to go shopping right then and there for his zip line. Despite us waking up at 5:48 am and only having about 2.5 hours sleep, kids were not about to let us go back to bed. The aftermath of Christmas is next post. See, there is only so much stimulation kids w/ certain disorders can handle. We almost hit critical mass but not all the way. It was a long day. More on it all next. Warren just got home from the dentist. Need to make sure kids stay away from him. He hurts...badly. Dentist doesn't seem to be making anything better imo. Another wait and see what happens visit. Much more to come. Just need to make sure they stay settled. More later this evening.

Happy Birthday Irina!!!

2011-12-27T22:15:00.000-05:00

Yes, it is Dec. 27th and Irina's birthday. Doesn't feel like it though as we celebrated early so that her friend could come out to eat with us as she'll be out of town this week. It was Irina's request. She couldn't decide on Red Robin or Chinese. She finally picked Chinese buffet. New concept for the 3 new kids...going up for more. We headed over there in two cars. Yes, still looking into the shuttle bus but can't do it till we try to sell this home. However, shuttle bus is definitely in the plans as this two car thing stinks when going somewhere. Our van seats 12 and there are 12 of us but usually, we're carrying others with us as well. Anyhow, there are very few photos of Irina as she, Yana and her friend wanted to go off and go shopping a few stores down. They're teens, we let them. That's why you won't see many pics of Irina for her birthday dinner.

Only one of my kids would go to a Chinese buffet to get pizza and french fries.

When they smile, you know they're up to something.

Still a cutie pie. She has one speed....slow. And that includes eating.

Normally, if we go out, we make them all get water. This time, let everyone get soda. Alex was in heaven w/ his Mountain Dew. He and I have the same taste. Funny as about half of us are Mountain Dew and half Dr. Pepper.

Irina and Nik goofing around.

Irina, waiting for some to finish up.

Reni, enjoying her meal. She loved the concept of going back up for more.

All in all, a great time. We had cake later with Irina. This week we went shopping and Irina got some clothes for her birthday. She has told us repeatedly she doesn't want to be 19 as that means she's almost close to 20 and will have more responsibilities. Not ready for the 'real world' and that's fine. Told her she can stay here as long as she likes.

Irina has gone from wanting to sit and drive the lawnmower w/ her daddy (she was 12 here) to wanting to drive her dad in the car as soon as she gets her license. We have witnessed great changes in Irina over the last few years. She is such a compassionate young lady. She is kind, hard working, motivated, filled with potential, a great big sister and many more things you can add to this list. I know she is going through a tough time dealing with becoming an adult and accepting who she is. Trying to get her to see all she has overcome thus far. She was not expected to be able to read or pass a second grade level. Irina has far exceeded those expectations set by the head of the EC department. Love proving them wrong and showing them what great things our kids CAN do with proper guidance. We are certainly proud of the young lady Irina has turned into. Hoping and praying that her 19th year is filled with accomplishments a mile long!